fucked up. || jenzie. [✔️]

chapter 25 - goodbye.

||mackenzie||

before the coma

my hands shake as i write this letter for johnny. I pull out a few sheets of staff paper, one side about to be covered with musical notes, the others about to be filled with possible lyrics.

you make me happy,

when you're around i feel safe in your arms,

you make me smile,

whenever i feel insecurities in my body,

you make me special,

lord knows i've craved to be that kind of guy,

you make me love you,

that is the greatest thing my heart is fit to do,

you make me lovely,

it's so captivating to be lovely to the one i love.

tears falling slowly, drop by drop, onto the paper as i write. it's as if i've been holding my tears back for all my life and finally, i'm expressing my emotions.

you came into my life as a strange face,

never knew one day this friendship, i would embrace.

as i wonder through my thoughts and memories of you,

it brings many smiles and laughter so true.

i love the special bond that we beautifully share,

lovely, describes the way you show you really care.

our relationship means the absolute world to me,

i hope this is something i can make you see.

thank you for opening your mind and your soul,

i will do everything i can to heal your hearts and holes.

remember, your secrets will always be safe within me,

i will keep them under the tightest lock and key.

thank you for trusting me right from the beginning.

you truly have a wonderful heart,

i am now so happy i felt that embrace.

for now, i see the magnificence of my best friend's face.

i think that it's time I let you go. that's so hard to do because some part of me will be in love with you for the rest of my life. but the daydreaming, the running in place, it's not healthy. so this is me, cutting the cord. you have stayed in my heart for my whole life. and now i have to break it so you can finally go out, have an out. so you can be happy. this is me doing what i should've done when i first got sick months ago: say goodbye.