fucked up. || jenzie. [✔️]

Chapter 18 - reality's a bitch.

||Mackenzie||

February 5th, 2024

"Hey Mackenzie, you're finally awake," Maggie says with a small voice.

"Ugh, what happened?" I ask her in pain and having trouble breathing.

"Kenzie, I have some bad news, you have stage three lung cancer." She said bluntly in a small voice.

What the fuck.

"I have cancer?! I HAVE FUCKING CANCER? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I get my best friend back after 5 years and now I'm gonna fucking die in like 6 months?" I yell then say it normally as the realization hit me.

I'm going to die.

"You're not going to die, Kenzie, we'll try our best to find the medication that will stop this from spreading any further," Maggie tells me with hope laced in her voice.

Tears were slowly falling down onto my lap, and slowly I felt a bunch of eyes on me. I don't know how long I sat there for, crying to myself. When I looked up, I saw Jackson, April, Mer, and Bailey. They all heard the news that I came in and fainted.

"hey, what are you guys doing here? shouldn't you be saving lives? cutting people open?" I try to make them laugh but it doesn't work, they all know about my diagnosis.

"tough crowd" I mutter. Silence still filled the air, until I break it again.

"So, by the silence, I'm assuming Maggie told you all about the diagnosis, I have lung cancer," I say, they are still staring at me with concerned looks, April looks like she's about to break out in tears.

"Yes, she did," Meredith tells me with a look I've never seen before, it's like anger, sadness, and concerned all in one.

"We will do everything in our power to make sure you survive this. That you get to be with the one for the next 20 years," Jackson tells me, with a stern expression over his face.

"Yes, definitely," April adds.

"Do you have anyone that you want us to call?" Bailey asks.

There is. But he shouldn't have to tell the worry right now, he's asking out my fucking best friend.

"Just my parents and could I just live here while I get the chemo?" I ask.

I don't want to put the girls through this pain again, I could just tell them I went to visit my parents. But then, there's Maddie, I don't know how to tell her, I don't know if I'm going to make it to her wedding.

"Sure thing Kenz," Bailey tells me with a hint of sadness in there.

They left me to be alone and think about everything in general. Should I just tell Johnny about this?

He's pretty famous and after asking Emily out, they might be the new cutest couple or something.

I really hope that they will both be happy together when I'm gone.

I know I should have a little more faith and confidence that I will survive this, but I just don't, Lauren did, and she didn't make it. Lauren is about the most optimistic person I have ever met, and she was strong and confident that she would survive this.

She didn't.

If she didn't, how was I going to, I was always weaker than her and Johnny, just the Orlandos in general.

Suddenly, the door burst open.

"Kenzie, what the fuck, why didn't you tell us?" Annie questions with the girls and my parents behind her all out of breath.

"Mom? Dad? How did you guys get here so quickly?" I question them while ignoring Annie's question.

"We were coming for a visit honey, we were going to your apartment to surprise you, when Kendall answered and said you weren't home, I thought I'd just stay there and wait for you while they kept us company. After we sat down for about ten minutes, I got a call from Dr. Bailey, telling me about your diagnosis. I started to cry and I told your father that we had to get to the hospital immediately, and the girls knew that something had happened to you, they were afraid that you attempted again, but when Miranda called, I knew instantly it was something else," My mom explains to me.

What am I going to do? How am I going to tell them I might never tell Johnny, or get the chance to tell him.

"What are we going to do about Johnny then?" Brynn asks, girl did you just read my fucking mind?

"Don't tell him, not yet. He's on a date with Emily right now, just let him be happy" I say emotionlessly.

It's true though. I only want him to be happy.

But.

He seems to be unhappy with me.

He doesn't know how much I love him.

"But you don't want him to be happy without you, don't you honey," my mom said, she has a mother's instincts.

"Of course I don't, but he is, it's not something that can be changed" I mumble.

It isn't something that can be changed.

That's the reality.

Reality is Johnny is happy without me.

I'll still be waiting for love.

Waiting for him to come around.

For Johnny Orlando.

Always and forever.

Johnny Orlando is my love.

But I'm not his love.

Reality's a bitch.

A/N:

(880 words, not including a/n)

I'm sorry this took so long.

I think this story could have a sad ending

Btw, I don't prewrite my chapters, I write them before I post.

So when it takes awhile keep in mind that I'm trying my best.

I also had to write a history paper and a English essay. So that was my priority.

Please understand!!

Hope you enjoyed it! I'll try to update more quickly if possible.