fifty six

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My hands were shaking and my stomach was in knots as I waited to be called.
I rang Lisa when I got back from Shawn's show at Radio City Hall and she asked me to stop by her office. After a few minutes of waiting a smartly dressed lady appeared. "Jasmine Smith." She said. I stood up and followed her. She opened the door for me and Lisa greeted me with a smile and a handshake. "Good to see you again Jasmine."
I sat down. "Thank you for inviting me."

***

When I got home Mum had made dinner so I sat down at the diner table. I poked and prodded at my food thinking about what Lisa offered me over and over in my head.

"I'm offering you a place at Julliard."

"Jasmine." Mum called snapping me out of my thought. "Eat up or it'll get cold."
"Sorry." I apologised.
"Are you okay? Is something is bothering you?" She asked.

"I know this is a big decision so take as much time as you need but I can't hold your place forever."

"Everything's fine." I replied

***

I rang Tom after dinner and explained everything.
"You have to take the offer." He exclaimed on the other end of the phone.
I hesitated.
"What's holding you back?"
"I don't know."
"Shawn?"
"Maybe."
"Jasmine! You cant make this choice based on Shawn. He's living his own dream. You have to start living yours."
"I want to go but my whole life is here. My family is here, my friends are here. I can't just drop them all and move to New York."
"You've done it before, you can do it again."
I sighed. "I don't know."
"You would be a fool if you let this opportunity pass. The acceptance rate is so low you must have what they want."
"Moving to New York means I have to live on my own. I don't think I'm ready for that."
"You'll adapt and get used to it."
I went silent and exhaled.
"You're really not sure about this are you?" He questioned.
I didn't say anything and my silence answered his question for him.
"Why don't you speak to Lisa and see if you can visit Julliard to look around. Maybe that will help you decide."
"That's not a bad idea."
"Well I'm not just a pretty face."
I chuckled. "Okay, I'll give her a ring and get back to you."

***

Me and Tom woke up early the next day and drove to New York so I could see Julliard for myself. As soon as we arrived we were greeted by a former student and she showed us around. She explained how everything works and talked me through what I'll be learning.
After we we're done me and Tom sat in a cafe as we ate lunch.
"What are your thoughts?" He asked.
I smiled. "I kinda love it".
"Wait? So you wanna move to New York?"
"I think I do."

***

A few weeks later

I told my parents about Julliard as soon as I came back from New York. They were so supportive, which made me feel a lot better. I haven't told Shawn or the others yet but I will when I'm ready. Shawn finished off his US tour in Toronto so me, Karen, Manny and Aaliyah all drove to the venue and met Syd Dan, Char and Jake there. A member of staff handed us lanyards and guided us backstage. Shawn didn't know I was coming to see him, he thinks I'm working. I've missed him a lot since he started touring and every time I tried to call him he was either performing, sound checking or sleeping. When we arrived Shawn was halfway through sound check so this was the best time for me hide. Karen, Manny, Aaliyah, Syd, Dan, Jake and Char all waited for him in his dressing room whilst I stood in the bathroom waiting for my cue. I heard the door open and Shawn greeted everyone. His voice made me smile. I listened to them talking for a while until Karen spoke up. "I'm sorry Jazz couldn't come tonight." I placed my hand onto the door handle getting ready to leave. I got my phone out of my pocket and turned the camera to face me. I pressed record before holding my phone down and waiting.
"It's  fine, I'm seeing her tomorrow." I heard him say.
I opened the door quietly and made my way over to him. I held my phone infront of him posing like a fan. "Can I get a picture?"
He turned and as soon as he recognised me he placed his hand on his chest. "Oh my god." He immediately pulled me in for a hug. "Hi."
It felt good to be back in his arms."Hi."

***

We decided to go out for dinner somewhere before the show and found a restaurant not too far from the arena. A waitress greeted us at the door and took us to a booth. We all ordered our food and whilst we waited Shawn told us about his shows.

***

We hung out backstage until it was time for the show and instead of standing at the side Shawn had reserved us all a spot in the audience. We all made our way to our seats and soon all the seats filled up around us. As Shawn performed I felt the energy that filled the arena and the saw the connection he has with his fans. It blew me away. Halfway through the set Shawn held the mic close to his mouth. "The next song I'm going to sing is a cover of a very special song to someone very special to me. This person is the person who convinced me to post my first video of me singing to vine and the reason why I'm here today." He paused and his eyes found mine. "Jasmine this song is for you, thank you for being the best girlfriend and my number 1 fan always. I love you." He began to strum his guitar and it didn't take long for me to recognise the song.
"Wise men say only fools rush in."
"But I can't help falling in love with you."
"Shall I stay?"
"Would it be a sin?"
"If I can't help falling in love with you."

"I wanna buy an old record player when I get my first house." I paused. "I want it to be the first thing I put in my house and I wanna dance to Elvis Presley late at night."
"Elvis?" He questioned.
"Can't Help Falling in Love was my grandads favourite song."
He smiled "Its a good song."

My eyes began to water and soon I couldn't stop the tears from running down my cheeks. He noticed and then paused mid song. "Mom please give her a hug because I can't."
I chuckled and Karen pulled me in for a hug.
Shawn kept his focus on me for the entire song and I held Karen's hand as we and the entire arena sang along. When it was over he placed his hand on his heart. I smiled back with tears still streaming down my face. That moment there and then was the moment I realised I was falling in love with him.

***AUTHORS NOTE***

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I hope you all have the best day and eat all the yummy food you can stomach!!

Sorry this chapter is a little messy but Bad Reputation is coming to an end and I'm struggling to piece everything together.

Although I'm sad it coming to an end I've been writing another story and I can't wait to share it with you!!

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