When It Comes To You |j.k

90: 釋放

"You look gorgeous!" He shouts from the bedroom.

"You too!" I yell back with the grin growing wider.

***

"Walk me through what we can't talk about," I looked out the car window, desperately searching for something to ease my mind. I'm tapping at the heel of my hand, Jihoon recommended it to me, but it's not helping much either. It's my first interview. Any tiny little move I make will be broadcasted to the public. Anything I say, I can't just delete and reword the same way I can for an Instagram post. I envy Jungkook the most at this moment. He's basically been trained all his life to face these situations. Crowds don't scare him. Attention doesn't scare him. Being scrutinized, well, he's used to it.

"Again?" I sense Jungkook turning to look at me, "Are you nervous?"

"No shit I am."

I grimace at my tone.

"Ouch."

"I'm sorry," I immediately say.

"Well, we can't talk about the lawsuit, that's between us and him, we agreed to that. And my departure from the company isn't public yet."

"Okay," I shift in my seat, "Can we not talk about Lana either? Like ever?"

"You don't want her involved."

"Yeah," She'll only get hurt. I don't need the internet obsessing over another young girl either. Having my own little sister, I can only shudder in discomfort when I see other adults exploiting their children for success, milking every dollar they can get out of the media's reactions.

"What if she wants to? Just a possibility,"

"I won't let her, not until she becomes an adult," I replied with a tone so stern I surprised even myself. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Off-limits things aside, they want us to talk about our relationship and high school," I heard him pause at that. We both know what they mean by 'high school'. "Will you be okay with that? Talking about that?"

I nodded. I should be, anyway. I turn to look out the window as I felt two gentle pats on my hand. The car grows silent, and for a while, all I could hear were the wheels rolling against the concrete.

"I wasn't just being unprofessional, it's not that I don't care about being punctual," Jungkook suddenly speaks.

"What?"

"You get up at night and never settle down. We sleep apart now and I get it, I just wanted to make up for it."

Oh, he's talking this morning with the shower.

I did not think about that. Jungkook's love language is physical touch, I should've noticed this sooner. I didn't know it was affecting him like that. There's only so much time we have together in a day after he gets off work. Our time in bed is when we get to be intimate. But now we can't even have that. We've been sleeping on separate ends of bed these days. It's not easy. Pregnancy sometimes means our own needs aren't met. I wish it wasn't like that, but we're just humans, there's only so much we can do at once.

I reach my hand over to lay it on top of Jungkook's. He flips his hand over and intertwines our fingers. I scoot closer to his side of the car and rest my head on his shoulder, "I'm sorry."