THE HUNGER GAMES. BTS ✓

chapter one

I only really knew my own night terrors.

My dreams revolved around the people stuck in the capital, or, at times, little Jisoo who had not been found in time. She had been left alone in district eleven with no one by her side. My heart stung whenever I thought of her.

She had been so unlucky.

Mark and Jisung had made it here safely, but they weren't necessarily happy, not without Jisoo.

Sometimes I wondered, did they want me to take Jisoo's place again? Would they prefer it if I was the one lost? Surely, they would.

These thoughts and these fears haunted me every night. And I didn't want to see their faces anymore.

So, in order to avoid them, despite knowing that it was fruitless, I didn't get into bed at night. Instead, I made my way through the hallways of district thirteen, searching for something, anything.

I did not mind the cold floor, in fact, I relished in the feeling of the biting cold. That was why my feet were always bare. I was hoping that they would help me stay focused on reality.

District thirteen was a place of wonders and maybe, just maybe, if these were different times, I would have rejoiced.

But nowadays, things that used to fill me up with satisfaction were not even able to make my lips curve into a simple smile. Nothing was able to make me smile.

The hunger games had changed everything and everyone. Things with Jisung, my family, weren't the same anymore. I wasn't the same anymore.

While I theoretically had only killed Kim Jihal, everyone, including me, knew the real truth.

Tributes like Jimin, Taeyong and many more also deserved a place on my list of kills.

I had indirectly killed Jimin, after all. Even if he wasn't really dead, I was sure that part of him was.

And if not that, surely, he would be soon.

Don't think about it, Y/n. Remember what the doctors said.

Think happiness, sunshine, peace-

I liked the peace of district thirteen. The two times over destroyed haven that was marred with death seemed to make everyone behave in a held back way. I liked that.

What I didn't like was that you could still feel it on the walls. Death.

Everything was dark. My surroundings as well.

The darkness of the hallways was even somewhat ominous, making me feel even smaller than I already was.

But I knew this feeling all too well, after all, this had become one of my habits in district thirteen.

Wait in my room until it was nighttime, then get up as soon as it was time for everyone else to be in bed, then wander the hallways aimlessly until I was picked up by Mark or Jisung.

It was always one of those two or at times even the two of them together. They were charged with watching me.

Sometimes I wonder, were they doing it because I was such a threat to everyone's safety?

In a way, it made me happy that I still had my brother and friend to look after me, but another part of me wondered why it couldn't be them.

Why couldn't they find me? They had always made sure to find me in the games.

Why not now?

Was it because I was responsible for everything bad that had happened? Probably, yes.