bad luck // dan howell

twenty-two

How could this even be possible?

How could there be to damn blue lines? Why not fucking one?

I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling. I had to call someone, I can't just stay here with my grandmother. She hardly has any money to keep me here, let alone a baby.

And this was Dan's baby.

I couldn't just leave and have his child without him knowing.

My eyes wandered to my phone and I clutched it in my hands. I took a shakey breath before dialing Phil's number.

Four rings and he answered.

"Arizona! Where the hell are you?!" He said in a partial whisper.

"I'm with my grandmother in Whales." I said.

"You need to come home right now. Dan is a total mess. He hasn't been out of his room for the past two weeks. He won't talk to me," He said, pausing, "and Sadie hasn't answered my calls. I don't know where she is."

I was silent.

"He probably won't talk to anyone when I get there."

"Wait, what? You're coming back? And I think all he wants is you home, though." He said.

"Phil, I'm pregnant." I said rather fast into the phone, but he managed to understand.

"Oh my god, Zona." He said, "You have to come home."

"I am."

//

"Ari!" Phil yelled as he engulfed me in a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged back.

"I missed you, Phil." I sighed.

"I missed you too, Arizona." He said as he held onto me. We broke apart and Phil immediately took my suitcase while I held my purse.

Without a word, we made our way to the tube. As we neared closer and closer to the flat, my heart was racing.

"You okay?" Phil asked.

"No, yeah, maybe?"

"You aren't okay, are you?"

"No. I don't know. I just don't want to see Dan."

Phil sighed and put his arm around me, "It'll be okay, just talk it out with him."

"That's the thing! I don't want to talk to him. I know what happened." I said.

"No, you really don't-"

"Phil, I do. I'm not blind. Just, no."

//

We got on the lift, not saying a word. We got closer and closer to the flat, I swear my heart was going to explode.

Phil swung the flat door to reveal my old home. Dan was no where in sight and I sighed and caught my breath. We walked inside and Phil took me into his room, laying the bag on his bed.

"You can sleep in here, I'll sleep on the couch." He said and I nodded, "You can put your stuff in the last drawer in my dresser, I'm gonna go watch the telly." He kissed my forehead and left.

I sat on the floor and started throwing clothes into the drawer. The bedroom door opened slowly and I turned around to see Dan. My heart skipped a beat as I took his apperance in. His hair was a mess, his eyes were red and bags were under them, he forced a smile, "Hey." He managed to get out.

I stared for a moment, so many feelings boiled in me. Anger, frustration, love. I just wanted to throw my arms around him and hug him, because I still love him, but the scenes of him all over Sadie flashed in my mind and my fist clenched, tears brimming my eyes, "Hi." I said through gritted teeth, turning to look at my hands. My knuckles were turning white and my head was pouding.

I looked back up to him and his smile faded, he turned and left, closing the door behind him.

How am I going to tell him?

(GUISE 2.2K ON THES BOOKE IM SO V HAPPI THANK YEW ILYSM

-abby)