Notice Me Senpai

Chapter 29

Bambam was holding the shaking boy secured in his arms, one hand resting on the small of his back and the other fiddling with his hair when he felt Yugyeom's knees buckled out due to exhaustion. Carefully he pulled the younger down with him on the ground so that they could sit and Yugyeom let himself be moved around like a doll, too tired to do anything else and Bambam felt his heart clench even more. The urge to protect him getting the best of him and he just tightened his hold. Trying to steady the falling boy, oblivious to the fact that Yugyeom wasn't falling anymore but has long since crashed and was now putting his pieces together again in Bambam's embrace.

It was extremely awkward and uncomfortable in their position and Yugyeom seemed to find at least enough strength in him to make himself a place on Bambam's lap and he hid his face in his chest as another sob escaped his mouth, the tears seemingly not stoping rolling down his puffy cheeks and he wondered how many more would come till he'd run out of tears.

Bambam could feel how his own eyes burnt with unshed tears again, the emotions he felt overwhelming him but he reminded himself that this wasn't about him, this was about Yugyeom. So he just continued rubbing what he hoped were soothing circles on his back, and whispering quiet 'i got you's.

Both didn't know how much time had passed, minutes, hours what did it matter anyway? But eventually Yugyeom's sobs turned into quiet sniffles and the shaking got less till it fully stopped. It would be a lie if Bambam said he didn't let out a small sigh of relief, seeing Yugyeom crying that much had really taken a toll on him.

Yugyeom on his part wasn't much better, he didn't know how he felt at that very moment. Actually he didn't even know if he wanted to feel anything at all. He didn't even allow himself to think because thinking would mean he'd have to deal with the situation.

Dealing with the situation would lead to face Bambam and make sense out of the crumbled feelings in his chest.

He didn't know if he had the strength to do that just yet.

He'd rather stay in Bambam's arms for a little while longer.

And it seemed like Bambam wasn't opposed to the idea.

As they finally did stand up though, Bambam holding Yugyeom by his arm till he was sure he could stand on his own, they didn't expect know what to do.

A light blush colored Yugyeom's cheeks as he saw the dried tear streaks on Bambam's shirt and he was sure he must have looked ugly with his puffy eyes and runny nose but somehow that thought was pushed out of his mind as he saw Bambam looking at him with so much care and fondness like he was the most beautiful flower in a garden.

Yugyeom felt how his wall inside was standing again, but this time it wasn't built on anger and sadness but on hope.

The both still had to talk about everything, still had a long way to go but important was that they would walk together.

The younger gave Bambam a shy smile and the other returned it with a a small one of his own.

——

„You wanted to talk?"

Jinyoung was swaying on his feet, a habit he only had when he couldn't hide his anxiousness.

Jaebum immediately picked up on it and acted on instinct. He reached out to hold Jinyoung's hand, knowing it had always calmed him down, grounded him when the other felt like he was close to running away from his problems.

But this wasn't like all the other times.

Jinyoung withdrew his hand as soon as he felt Jaebum's touch and immediately regretted it as a look of hurt washed over the other's features. Close up Jinyoung could see the bags under his love's eyes even better.

Jaebum really was hurting just as much and when he muttered a quiet 'I'm sorry' Jinyoung felt like his heart couldn't shatter into more pieces.

"It's- Don't worry about it. What did you want to say to me?"

Jaebum sucked in a deep breath before he nervously licked his dry lips and it seemed like Jinyoung wasn't the only nervous one.

„About our fight, I- I was thinking and-„

Jinyoung adverted his eyes from the other, not being able to deal with the words he was sure would indicate a break up while looking at the older.

„-and I acted completely out of line. I knew you were hurting and I just made it all worse and Jinyoung, I'm not saying that what you did was hundred percent right but I understand now where you were coming from. I- I don't think I can make up for the things I said but I wanted to let you know that I'm so incredibly sorry and I don't, don't wanna lose you but if you can't find it in yourself to forgive me and my words I will understand and give you as much space as you need"

Jinyoung didn't believe his ears at first, the illusion that Jaebum would say things like 'I'm sorry but I can't be with you anymore' 'We wouldn't work out now' 'It's over' was fading as the words Jaebum said hit him like a wave crashing down on him.

"Y-You don't want to break up?"

He couldn't help but ask and Jaebum just blinked multiple times as if he was suddenly speaking a different language.

"Break up? With you? Jinyoung, the thought of breaking up with you never once crossed my mind and when you said we both needed time I felt like my world was collapsing down on me but I knew I would fight for you, for us, I just wanted to give you some time. But- But I can't bare not speaking to you or not being able to hold your hand any longer"

Jaebum's lips started to quiver and it wasn't often the boy showed his vulnerability to anyone but he didn't care that Jinyoung saw it. If anything he wanted Jinyoung to see it. Wanted the boy to understand how important he was to him.

"That you thought I wanted to break up with you shows me what a dick I was but I never ever wanted to, I trusted you and our relationship enough to overcome this but admittedly I was scared you wouldn't trust me enough. And apparently you didn't trust me, right? Will you let me try to earn your trust again?"

"Bummie, I- I trust you more than is probably healthy but you have to understand how scared I was, you never raised your voice at me like that and I- I thought that was it for you. I'm sorry, I don't want to break up either, god, I really don't" Jinyoung hastily wiped his eyes as tears wanted to spill and a teary chuckled tumbled off his lips. The sound clashing with the atmosphere, but somehow lightening the world up for Jaebum again after not hearing it for so long and he felt the corners of his mouth move upwards in a small smile.

"This- This would really be the right time to kiss me"

Jaebum didn't need to be told twice.

"I love you," He whispered before he sealed his lips with Jinyoung's and the latter felt like he could finally breathe normally again.

-

A/N:
ahhhhhhhhhhh i'm sorry for the long wait, things have been quite hectic heh

how have you been? are you taking care of yourselves? Stay healthy and rest well fucklings <33

also i wanna know, do you like the chapters?

byebye love you all ❤️