INSIDE RIVERDALE

1

*Kevin made a group chat called: Rivergayyyyssss*

Kevin: Hi-ho, people of the universe!

Archie: Kevin.

Jughead: why am i here

Kevin: Because... I just wanted to check how my favorite ships were

Betty: Well Bughead is going strong

Jughead: Yup, stronger than ever

Kevin: Yes! How's Varchie?

Archie: We broke up, Kev. Decided to go our separate ways.

Veronica: I'm dating Cheryl now.

Kevin: WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Hold the hell up! Why?!

Veronica: Because Archie cheated on me with Joaquin.

Archie: I TOLD YOU HE KISSED ME

Veronica: WELL I WALKED IN ON HIM GIVING YOU A BLOW JOB, ARCHIBALD!

Kevin: Wait... Archie is gay... or bi?

Kevin: Better question... JOAQUIN IS BACK!

Cheryl: What do you mean back?

Kevin: Well... you see... me and him briefly dated. That was until he left.

Betty: 😳

Reggie: Whoa, in deed

Kevin: Anyways, looks like I have a new ship! CHERONICA!

Cheryl: What the actual fuck?

Kevin: CHER-yl and ver-ONICA. Cheryl + Veronica = CHERONICA.

Veronica: I'm just going to quietly exit and go to Pop's. Babe, do you want anything?

Cheryl: Yeah, a strawberry milkshake.

Jughead: I want something!

Betty: I'll be you something, Juggie.

Jughead: I LOVE YOU BETTY COOPER!

Betty: And I love you too, Jughead Jones.

Kevin: *Dies from cuteness overload*