The Question Is... Am I Immortal? (Book Three)

Chapter One

**If you haven't read the first two books, I advise you to go and do so, otherwise you will be lost in this book.**

 Time heals all wounds, at least that's what I kept telling myself as I looked at Jaxton's smiling, sweet face moments before the crushing words came from my mouth.

I felt as if I were losing a best friend, there were tears stinging my eyes and a lump in my throat. Slowly, I walked up to him and took his hand in mine. He looked down at me, confusion evident on his face and I led him out onto the front porch, away from John and April. This was something I needed to do in person and alone.

He squeezed my hand, "Samantha, what's wrong?"

I bit my lip and glared down at my feet, wishing these tears would stay where they belonged, "Jax..." I started and looked up at him, "I made my decision." My voice came out as a whisper.

His eyes widened, and he leaned heavily against the railing, he knew what I was going to say, and he was bracing himself. My heart ached and the tears I so desperately wanted to hide found their way down my cheeks. 

His once smiling lips were pulled into a tight line, "Okay."

"I love you, Jax, I really do. You have shown me things I could only ever imagine, you are so kind and protective, you make such a wonderful boyfriend. You're like a knight in shining armor."

"But?" There was always a 'but' in these situations, wasn't there?

"But... Christian has been in my life since I was a little girl." I shook my head, "He snuck up on me, you know?"

Jax looked out at the street, white snow littered every surface, his face was blank, and I knew that he was hurting, "Is he your choice?"

My eyes were glued to his face as he stared away, "Yes."

Jax was quiet for a moment and with a single nod, he turned and walked into the house without a glance in my direction. The front door slammed closed and I dropped to my knees, my hand gripping at my chest. I was a scum of a person, hurting someone who loved me dearly. 

The door opened, and I looked up, hoping to see Jax, but instead, John stepped out and when he saw me, he squatted and pulled me in for a hug.

"Hey, hey." He patted my back as I sobbed, "It's okay, Sammy."

"No..." I shook my head, tears flying, "I'm such a horrible person! Jax has been nothing but amazing to me and I hurt him!"

"Sammy, it had to happen, your heart is with someone else."

"You said he wouldn't hate me, but you were wrong. He hates me. He couldn't even look at me."

"I'm the one who can read minds, remember? No matter how hard he is trying to shield himself off right now, I can hear him. Yeah, he is really fucking hurting, but he loves you, Sammy. Give him time."

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand, "Can you tell him I'm sorry?" I asked.

When he nodded I got to my feet, I needed to go home, to be in my own comfortable place where I was free to cry without eyes on me or minds reading mine. I gave him a pathetic little smile before sauntering off towards my house, wiping at more tears.

My head was spinning as I opened my front door, my mom popped out from the kitchen and smiled, "Are you hungry, honey?"

"No." I shook my head, turning away from her.

Sitting in the kitchen, eating a meal with her and Johnathan's worried eyes on me was the last thing I wanted.

"Are you crying?" She wobbled forward, one crutch under her arm and she examined me, "You are! Samantha, what's wrong?" Her voice was pitchy.

"Nothing, mom." This was something I didn't want to tell her about, something I wanted to handle on my own for as long as I possibly could.

She placed a thin hand on my shoulder, "I am your mother, when did you stop telling me everything that happened in your life?" She asked, looking hurt.

There is a lot I can't tell you about my life, I thought.

"I just don't want to talk about it right now, mom." I stuck my hands in my pockets, glad she was too preoccupied to have noticed the tattoos.

"Did you and Jax...." She trailed off once I raised my bloodshot eyes to her, and then she nodded, "Go get some sleep."

"Thank you." 

I shrugged off her hand and nearly ran up the stairs, bursting through my bedroom door and throwing myself onto my bed where I curled into a fetal position.

I was in so much pain but there was a small piece of my mind that was reminding me that I was being fair to Jax by telling him. This was hard, but after the pain subsided I would be happy, I would be where I was meant to be, in Christian's arms.

I stared at my window, memories flooding my mind and I was grateful for them, even though they came with a sharp pain. Yes, I was aching and had broken up with Jax, a man I have loved and went through so much with, but the memories were proof of that. Proof of all the times we spent together, of all the things he showed me, how he treated me, talked to me, they were all such precious memories that I wanted to hold on to no matter how much pain accompanied them now. That agony would fade.