💖"What are we?"

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"GUYS! Yesterday the two of us stayed past midnight texting. And . . . "

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"The other day when the two of us were walking together, it started raining. He held the umbrella above us. "

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"It was amazing when he made those shots during the game. He even said that he dedicated every shot for me. "

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It's difficult being in love with him. Maybe I'm being my delusional self again. I mean everything that I've been doing is somehow linked to him. I started writing love poems because of him which, everyone knows especially senpai, is very out of character for me. And often times in class, my mind would drift to scenarios that I know for sure will never happen.

I'm on a swing and I'm swinging violently from "Are we really together?" to "We're almost together!" I've become too stupid and I've accepted the fact that I'm blinded by his ways. I'd keep going, but talking like this about myself makes me hate myself. I'd rather not hate myself when I've spent my high school years learning to love myself.

"[Y/N]-CHAN!" Senpai called out when Yurika slammed the door shut on her face. "Let's walk outside, around the dorms.

"At this time of night?" I whispered, the urge to agree to go out and just walk around was strong but I wanted to text him.

If the definition of texting was expressing yourself and waiting for three hours just to get an abbreviated reply that is.

"C'MON, YURIKA WON'T DO IT!" I looked over to her and she nodded. I took my coat off the hook and opened the door. Senpai, who was leaning against it, almost fell into the room.

I dug deep into my pockets and walked beside her, most of the time we'd be running around, knocking on doors as we'd go. But this was calm, walking in silence. Reassuring silence.

"You seem to very in love, [Y/n]-chan." And she's hit a strong point there.

"You know you're worth than whatever he says, and you've got yourself to support- No, I think I understand it. You're attracted to him because you thought that no one would come to tell you how much you're worth it."

"I don't even know at this point, senpai."

"[Y/n]." She sat down on the floor, in between two rooms. "If someone is serious about you, they'd be straightforward. No matter what they're personality is, they'll make it clear to you in the ways they know and won't stop." I joined her on the floor and rested my head on her shoulder.

Maybe I should ask her to slap me back to reality as well.

"I just feel special when he talks to me."

She heaved a heavy sigh. "You feel special, but what about him? What does he feel when he's with you. I still feel special when Yurika holds my hand." She stood up and pulled me up.

"Tachi, Yurika, Shintaro and I will always be by your side. Though I gotta admit that it's annoying hearing you talk about him all day. You should go back to your bitter self."

Have I changed that much?

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Maybe to him, I'm just a girl who's fallen into the pit of other girls who confessed their unrequited love only to regret it later. I never told anyone this, but when senpai and I parted ways I decided to pass by his dorm.

I heard a girl moaning his name.

From now on, it;s no longer a maybe. I will not subject myself to him.

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