no-no xx || noah schnapp

tears

song; The Night We Met by Lord Huron

Why did think that it was a good idea. I knew i was still in love with Noah I just couldnt bare to see him after what he did. He hated me now. He blocked me everywhere. He hated me. Everyone did.  Im so alone now. Kenzie and Josh have left me alone cause i begged them to. I didn't need pity. All I needed was Noah. Not anyone else.(I had all and then most of you some and now none of you. Take me back to the night we met.) I  lost everything for trying to have everything. How the hell could i be so stupid.

*flashback*

"NOAH OH MY GAWDDD" i screamed as Noah got closer caressing  a snake "no baby hold it its so wierd you're going to love it" Noah replied with a soft smile. "remember when we met?" i said as the zoo keeper was carrying the snake over to me. "yeah i instantly fell in love" Noah answered with a wide smile. "well noah, i dont know what to say now- " " no y/n, im not joking" "I know Noah- OH SHI- EW EW EW EW" The zookeeper removed the snake quickly and me and noah left to see the zebras. We stopped and sat down at a bench where you could see the forest background with all the colorful animals while the sun was going down causing the sky to be a lovely shade of orangey pink. He held my hands and intertwined our fingers. I looked up and made eye contact with him. I realized his eyes weren't just green or brown, they were the most beautiful shade of hazel. We gazed into each others eyes and he leaned in to peck my lips. He pulled back and looked me in the eyes "y/n, i-i think im love with you. No- i dont 'think', i am." noah said softly while looking down at out intertwined hands. "noah- i love you." i answered back while raising his chin to see his eyes once again. He softly smiled and kissed me. "i hope i never lose you. Or I'll be the stupidest person on this earth to let you go." he whispered. I giggled back and he gave me a smile that made me so soft. I was soft for him. Too soft.

*back in current time*

noah's pov

Am I too blind to see what was there? I don't even know what i did. I loved her. And yet again I was hurt. I thought I had her. Now I have to see her everyday. Why did I block her. Sometimes I even disgust myself. I picked up my phone to talk to Finn. Who was my only hope right now. If i talked to Millie, she'd just vaunt about how she was right. The line rang. "hello?" "hey man, guess what happened to me today" "dont tell me it was about y/n. please if you love her you should show her and appreciate her or you know, gimme her digits..."  "No Finn, its just that- She cheated." "holy- really?" "yeah and im hurt all over. I really did love her. It felt like we had a long future." "noah- for how long did you guys break up?"  "about  couple months." "look man. Just- If you're hurting come over to my house. I promise I'll help you get through it. And we'll talk about it. I don't like to see you sad. No one does." "thanks finn. love you dude. And the worst part is that i blocked her number but i have it everywhere just in case if i ever forgot it." "ok so bring the number over and I'll try to talk to her about it." "ok i'll ask my mom if  can go. But be careful. If she's crying be gentle. She might be sassy but she's soft." "I love how you still care about her feelings even though she cheated on you" "it's because im in love with her dude-" " oh fuck. Are you really in those deep feelings? Like the ones i had for Iris?" "i think deeper." "this isn't going to be easy." "I know." "ok change of plans. Come over right now. i need to fix you before you fall for her harder like Stockholm Syndrome type of stuff." "k bye" "bye dude don't love too hard". I hung up and let out a huge sigh. 

   song; My Kind Of Woman by Mac Demarco

   i had it too hard for her. I texted my mom if i could go to Finn's house and she said yeah. I texted Finn to pick me up. I packed stuff i needed like my toothbrush, pijamas, a change of clothes, my phone charger and her number and a few Polaroids of us which hurt to even look at. I saw Finn's car pull up in the driveway. "CHLOE IM GOING TO FINN'S BE BACK TOMMOROW" i yelled at Chloe, my sister. "OK BYE NO-NO" she yelled back. i shut the door and headed towards Finn's car. I opened the door causing a satisfying sound. "Dude. You okay?" finn asked carefully. I broke into tears. "she really had you hard" finn explained as i sunk into the car seat. "She should be with him. I can't compete with a wrestler, kind, nice, tough, smart guy who's known her for  longer time." I choked. "Noah- it's ok." replied finn while patting my back. I wiped the tears from my eyes. 

We arrived at Finn's house. "dude if you ever need any problem like this, I'll help."  I smiled back and quickly resumed to my sadness. We saw Mrs. Wolfhard in the kitchen once we walked in. "Hi Noah!" "hi" i answered back not knowing that my eyes were red and puffy from crying. "sweetheart, what happened?" she asked with a caring tone. "oh nothing just an eye infection" i replied making sure not to let my voice sound stuffed. "oh ok!" she smiled and I then followed finn into his bedroom. He had a couch where im going to be sleeping I figured. "dude i've been in your place and tonight im going to sleep on the couch  you'll sleep on my bed" Finn smiled. "Finn it's okay its really nothing" i replied but deep down i really wanted the comfy squishy bed. "no you'll have it. And wheres her number i have to call it." I handed him the number which read 605-475-6962. He dialed and put it on speaker phone. from far away i heard her soft voice as if she'd been crying. "hello?" "hey its Finn. Noah told me what happened. How are you holding up?" "I loved him. deeply. and now he's gone." Her voice tore apart when Finn stood up with a i-knew-it expression. "but why'd you do that?" I heard Finn say. "i-i-i didn't know h-h-how to t-tell b-b-bryson so i d-did that. i didn't want to hurt him again b-but i knuh-knew I loved Noah. i always will." Finn walked towards me handing me the phone. I shook my head, signling that he should continue to talk to her. "y/n, some one wants to talk to you." finn said letting go of the phone in my hands. "hi" i softly said into the phone. "n-noah?" "yeah its me" "noah im so happy to hear your voice please forgive me i love you i hope you understand please-" "y/n, its okay. don't cry. no matter what I still love you. it was a promise, remember?" "b-but i cheated. You don't deserve me." "i do." "can i just please talk to finn right now? i just- sorry it isnt about you, well who am i kidding its about you but i need to talk to some one else first. Bye noah" Finn stood up to grab the phone. I handed it back slowly. He took it off speakerphone and went into the closet so i wouldnt hear them. But i still heard comforting mumbles. He was being gentle. 

Finn hung up and walked out. I was on the couch plying with my fingers, waiting for them to stop talking. "dude. She told me that she'd been crying ever since you texted her. non-stop. she kept rambling about how sorry she was. She kept saying how much you mean to her and how much she loves you. She has it hard for you as well and i think you guys belong together." finn explained. All I could do was cry. i was so stupid. 

1 month later

your pov

*noah and i haven't talked. Finn and i talk daily. Kinda like my therapist but for free and really cute. Noah and I sorta secluded our selves from the world. And the things i loved turned dull. Science is boring, Social Studies too, Hell,even running over people in GTA V and getting 5 stars is dull and boring. Sometimes I'd go over to Finn's house and play there. I told Finn my tiny crush which was his friend Wyatt. Of course my other crush was Noah. I was still hoping we had a future. Finn was now my closest friend. Kenzie was my second and Josh was torn between Noah and I. 

2 months

Noah called Finn. Noah wanted finn to ask me if i wanted to go out with him. I was like No. until he calls ME. 

1 month

Kenzie invited me into a diner. Which seemed odd but Finn was going so I did. We met up at a park and headed there. the diner door bell rang as we walked in. "um finn you order and ill go to the bathroom. Y/N find a seat." kenzie instructed. shortly after she said that she whispered in finn's ear. I dont even know what she said. I turned around to see Noah in a hoodie poking at his food. "hi noah" i said with a smile. he smiled back but that smile hit me really hard that time.  I sat in the seat in front of him. i turned around quickly and saw Kenzie, Josh, and Finn smiling and shaking each other proudly. "im crazy about you. and a mess with out you."