Under the Influence ✔

27.

W

es and his band are playing at a small venue in Covington tonight and if our timing is right, McKenna and Hailey should have me there just in time for their set to start. Covington is four hours away from home, so while Hailey drove and McKenna talked about wedding plans, I sat in the back and called back everyone that had tried to get in contact with me over the past week. 

I called Bran and told her that I was sorry and promised that we would spend more time together once I got back. I called Zoe and apologized, then I told her what I was doing and had to hold the phone away from my ear when she squealed with excitement. I called my mom and told her I would be gone for awhile but to not worry and that I would check in, she said she was happy for me and that she thinks Wes is a great guy. Even though McKenna had already called Axel to tell him where she was and what we were doing, I called him anyway because he has been a huge part in all of this, even if he's not aware of it. I needed to hear him tell me once again that it's possible and that he believes in me, I need to hear him voice my doubts and tell me that I'm the only one holding me back - I need to thank him for everything he's done for me and will probably continue to do. 

When Hailey pulled into a gas station and got out to fill up the tank, McKenna also got out of the car and went inside the gas station to get us some more snacks. We're three hours into the drive, and with only one hour left I can feel the nerves catching up to me. I don't know why I'm so nervous, it's not like I don't already know that Wes feels the same and I know he's been waiting for me to tell him how I feel for months now.

Hailey knocks on the window and asks if I want anything before walking away and joining McKenna inside the station when I shake my head. From the car I can see McKenna standing in what must be the candy aisle and she looks deep in thought, which reminds me of how Axel use to say she would take forever deciding what candy she wanted before he would eventually just buy her one of everything she liked. 

I look down at my phone and take a deep breath before tapping Wes' name and putting the phone to my ear. I watch my friends through the window as I tap my knee and wait for Wes to answer my call. It's a little less than two hours to show time, so I'm not even sure if he's near his phone right now, but I want to tell him now. I want him to know that I'm on my way and that I'm ready to be all in with him. 

Eventually I get sent to his voicemail and I almost hang up, but then I get this weird feeling in my gut that tells me I need to do this now, and so I wait for the beep. 

Beep. 

"Hey, it's me. I uh, I'm...I'm sorry, Wes. I'm so sorry for the way I've been acting, it was stupid and wrong and I shouldn't have pushed you away. I've been lying to you, I'm not fine, I'm not fine at all - or at least I wasn't but I will be." I watch as Hailey drags McKenna to the counter, pointing at her watch and probably saying something about the time. "I'm...I'm on my way to Covington right now with your sister and McKenna, they're going to drop me off and then hopefully you'll let me come on tour with you because I miss you, Wes. God, I miss you so much and I can't believe I was stupid enough to let you leave the way you did. I can't believe I wasted the time I had left with you and I can't believe I let you go without...without telling you that I love you." 

McKenna and Hailey are walking back towards the car, McKenna holds up a bag full of sodas, chips, and candy and I give her a thumbs up. "I love you, Wes. I always have, I was just too afraid to tell you, too scared of what that would mean...but I'm not afraid anymore. I love you and I want to do this for real, I want to be the couple that all your fans and my parents already think we are. I want you." 

"WE GOT SNACKS!" McKenna shouts as she opens the door and gets in the car, passing the bag full of goodies back to me. Once she sees the phone pressed to my ear she gives me a small smile as an apology.