Under the Influence ✔

20.

I'm trying to feel safe in my own skin, to not feel as if I'm out to get myself, to be my own friend instead of enemy. I want to have a more positive outlook on life, the world, and myself. I want to care more about my life and work towards a better future, I want to be happy and do all the things I never allowed myself to do or feel before. 

That's what I keep telling myself as Wes pulls my car into my parents driveway and cuts the engine. Zoe's car is also in the driveway, and I let out a small sigh of relief, glad that I'm not the only child that was called to this dinner. Even though Zoe is the favorite, that doesn't mean she doesn't get criticism - not nearly as bad as what I get, but she does take her own blows from our parents at times. 

Before I know it, my feet are carrying me across the stone walkway and towards the front door with Wes at my side. I can't tell if he's nervous and hiding it extremely well, or if he is actually this confident that my parents like him and that it will all be okay. I've never seen Wes nervous about anything before now that I think about it, I guess it's part of the whole musician thing. He gets on stage in front of hundreds of people all the time and pours his heart and soul into a mic - so if he can do that, why be nervous about having dinner with a couple of stuck up rich people?

I raise my hand to knock on the door, and then lower it back to my side before making contact. I look at Wes, who is already looking at me. "Do I knock?" 

Without a word, Wes knocks on the door and then takes my hand in his, lightly squeezing in an effort to calm me down. Not long after, the door opens and we are face to face with my little sister, Zoe. 

We stare at each other in silence for a second before she pulls me into a hug so tight that it almost hurts. Once I'm released, her blue eyes that match my own look me up and down, "You look so good, Luna." 

"Thanks. You too." Of course she did, Zoe always looks good. Just like our mom, Zoe is always dressed as if she's heading to a job interview and there's never a hair on her head out of place. Wes had somehow managed to keep a hold of my hand during the unexpected hug, and Zoe's eyes had now landed on our joined hands. 

"Hi, I'm Zoe." She introduces herself, her eyes dancing with excitement over seeing us here - together. On all the phone calls I've had with my sister, I never once explained the situation between Wes and I, mostly of fear it would get back to my parents. Now though, there's going to be no hiding it. 

"I'm Wes." 

"I know." She gives Wes a polite smile before turning and discretely winking in approval towards me, just as our mom appears in the entry way and looks both Wes and I up and down, her facial expression giving away no sign of approval or disapproval, not even when she looks at our joined hands - which I am holding especially tight right now. 

"Well don't just stand in the doorway, Luna. Come inside." Her heels are clacking against the hardwood floor as she turns and walks away from the three of us without another look. 

Wasting no time at all, the three of us make our way to the dining room where my mom is adding the finishing touches to the dinner that she made. Despite her high class appearance, my mom loves to cook and so while we have a housekeeper, she never hired a cook. My dad comes in behind us, shakes hands with Wes as if they're old friends and then it's as if I'm watching the entire scene happen from the outside. Everyone has taken a seat around the table while I am still standing in the middle of the room, watching.

"Luna." Wes reaches for my arm and I snap out of my daze, taking a seat beside him and across from my sister. We all load our plates with food and I wait for the ball to drop, for either my mom or dad to announce why we were all called here, but there's only friendly small talk floating in the air around me.