Dysfunctional (Sequel to Soft Whispers)

Early Morning

You've really moved on, huh?

I'm sorry. 

It's okay.

I didn't except you to mourn my death forever.

It's good that you're moving on.

I still feel guilty. 

No, Bria, you shouldn't.

Really. 

I'm fine. 

Even if you did move on to... Him... I'm still happy you're moving on. 

It'll help with your depression and that's good because that'll mean you're getting better and that's all I truly want. 

Is for you to get better and be happy again.

"What'cha thinking about?" 

I looked over and saw Chresanto was looking at me. 

I shook my head a little and crawled over to him. 

We were back in Jordan's living room now. 

"Y'all can crash here for the night, if you want" Jordan said as she placed a bowl of chips on the coffee table, "no sex though". 

"Oh, yeah, 'cause we were all totally planning to get freaky in the closet" Ray stated. 

"Hey, I don't know what y'all had planned" Jordan said as she laughed a little, "I'm just making sure that y'all know that there will be no freaky business or moaning in my house tonight". 

"So we can come over tomorrow and moan?" Chresanto asked. 

"Ugh, no. No moaning in my house ever".

"But wasn't that what you were doing last night?" Ray asked. 

"Ray, shut the fuck up!" Jordan shouted as she walked to the kitchen, "with your nasty ass". 

He chuckled and I watched as he followed her. 

>>*<<

"It was the day you didn't come to school, wasn't it?" Chresanto asked quietly. 

I nodded. 

We were laying on Jordan's couch and I was curled up next to him. I was staring at my left wrist, and so was he.

He gently took his fingers and brushed them against the cuts, and I let him.

I looked up at him and saw the sadness in his eyes.

"Wish I was there to stop you" he murmured.

I took his hand in mine and I played with his fingers.

"Rayan, that is not what happened" Jordan stated.

"I've noticed that when you get serious you call me by my real name" he replied. 

"Yeah, do you not want me to?"

"No, I was just stating what I noticed, is all". 

I looked over at them and smiled a little. 

"When do you think they're gonna scar up?" Chresanto asked quietly. 

I shrugged a little and looked at him.

"God, I wish I was there to stop you" he muttered, "I saw Ray leave, but I didn't really think nothing of it".

I kissed him.

I didn't know what else do, I didn't have my whiteboard and I just wanted to let him know in some way that it was okay.

He pulled me closer to him and my fingers gripped the material of his shirt.

You never kissed me like that.

Yes, I have. Many times, actually, Jacob.

Oh, I don't remember, I trust you though.

I feel like I'm forgetting everything about us.

Are you?

No.

I'd never forget about us.

Never.

Oh. Okay.

I suddenly felt Chresanto's hand on my lower back. I found it interesting how he looked so rough, but his touch was soft.

Bria... I um... I have a question.

Yeah?

You... You...

Jacob, what's wrong?

You love him more than me already, don't you?

I stopped kissing Chresanto and pulled away a little, he looked at me.

I furrowed my eyebrows and shook my head a little.

What?

You love him more than me already, don't you?

No, I don't.

Why... Why would you even...

I got up and walked out of the room, I went to the bathroom and closed the door. I sat on the floor and stared at the wall.

I didn't mean to make you upset.

I'm not upset. I'm confused.

Jacob, are you really happy that I'm beginning to move on?

No... I'm sad, actually.

I just told you that because I didn't want to come off as selfish.

I want you to move on, I do... I just... I don't want you to move on too fast and forget about me and... And like... Stop loving me.

I will never forget you, and I will always love you, Jacob. Always.

There was suddenly a knock on the door.

"Bri, are you okay?" Ray asked.

You promise?

Yes, yes, I promise.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Sorry for any mistakes.

Love,

Me.