A Hide's Prime

Chapter 12: Pain Returns

I groan as my optics open. "Woah.... What happened?" I brought a servo up to my helm and rubbed it, trying to get rid of the ache that had started there.

"She's awake!" I hear someone say and then another add, "Get Ironhide." I hear a set of pedes leave and I look around, seeing a blue mech leaving the room and Ratchet coming towards me. I watch with tired eyes as he comes closer.

"Why the SLAG did you think it would be a good idea to stay in your holoform for so long and NOT get enough energon to fill your systems?!" I gulped... Ratchet was really angry.

"Sorry Ratchet... I wasn't really thinking... I was really really upset... I'm sure you've heard about why I left in the first place", I mumble, looking away from him. I hear him sigh.

"Yeah. Cause Ironhide was an idiot." I smile softly before whispering to myself.

"But he's my idiot." I hear a pair of running pedes and I look toward the door and watch as Ironhide stands in the doorway, happy to see me awake.

"Hey, 'Hide", I smile at him. He then rushes toward me and gives me a tight embrace, holding onto me with everything he had.

"I'm never leaving you again, my shooting Star", he whispers. I smile as I hug him back before kissing him softly. He smiles before letting me go so I could ask any questions I might have.

"How long have I been out and what has transpired during that time?"

Ratchet then spoke. "You have been out for two weeks. Ironhide will explain the rest."

"Decepticons stormed the base, took the Allspark fragment, revived Megatron, so he's alive again. Optimus died, the Fallen showed up, and wanted to destroy the planets sun. Sam and Mikaela went and found the matrix of leadership, which was in Egypt and can revive Optimus, we fought Decepticons as we waited for Sam, who almost as soon as he got to the place we were waiting, he died. The Primes brought him back, and he revived Optimus, who then defeated the Fallen. The Decepticons retreated after he died", Ironhide says, very bluntly I might add.

"Hold up. Megatron's alive? Optimus died but then was brought back? Sam died and was brought back? How much happens in two weeks? I swear there no normalcy when it comes to the Autobots", I mutter the last part but Ironhide still heard me.

"You're not normal yourself", Ironhide teases before helping me stand up. After checking with Ratchet, I was good to go as long as I got some more energon in my tanks.

"Well, of course I'm not normal. I have a Prime for a father, my twin brother is dead because of me, and I've got friends who die and come back to life. Yes, that is very normal", I mutter. We had just made it into the hallway when Ironhide pins me to the wall.

"What do you mean 'because of you'? How did Silverburst die?" Ironhide was searching my optics for something and I shrunk away, looking down, not wanting to tell him...

"Starfire... please tell me", Ironhide says, gentler this time. I felt my optics filling with liquid and I hide my face even more. "Star..."

"I... I don't want to tell you... you'll hate me for it..." That was all I could manage to get out before I choked out a sob, memories filling my mind.

"Star... I could never hate you..." Ironhide lifted my face up to look at his optics but I didn't look at him. "Star. Look at me."

Reluctantly, I did so and I saw nothing but love for me there. I frown softly, knowing it won't be there when I tell him.

"In our human forms, we had no source of money and the orphanage didn't get a lot of money either. Silverburst, or Miechel (that was his human name), joined a gang to earn some money for us. I tried to convince him out of it multiple times. One time the gang overheard us arguing and heard that he was only doing it for money. They didn't like that, though I don't know why. They took hold of both of us, started to beat him up... I couldn't do anything", I whisper.

Ironhide stares at me for a little bit before he leans forward and whispers in my audio receptor, "you are very talented at lying."

I freeze and stare guiltily into his optics before hanging my head. He still had me pinned to the wall...

I sigh before speaking the truth. "I joined the gang. They knew it was only for the money... they knew that they had a solid grip on me because they knew I would do anything to provide for my family. I was ten earth years old at the time. One time, there was a family they didn't like because they were getting close to finding out the secrets of the gang. It was a police officers family. They wanted me to murder the police officer. The poor officer was a single mom with four little girls, two sets of twins. I couldn't do that to them. I told them no. I flat out said no. I couldn't do that to any children, knowing what it felt like to have no parents. And I was ten for Primus' sake! Ten! They didn't like that answer. The next day, they found me and Silverburst walking along and decided they knew the perfect way to get me to comply to their wishes. They took a hold of me, and my brother and started beating up my brother. It took several of them to hold me back because I still retained my Cybertronian strength. My brother didn't fight back. He was too softhearted which was a perfect balance to me. But I couldn't do anything as they beat him up, our human bodies still weak even though we retained our strength." Tears had begun streaming down my face by now. I squeezed my optics tight with my next words. "It was my fault that he died! If I hadn't gotten involved with that stupid gang... Now he's gone because of me..."

I choke out a sob and sink down to the floor because Ironhide had released me long ago and just watched me for a while. I felt my parental units tug at our bond and send me comfort but it did little satiate my pain. Ironhide still just watched me and I spoke again.

"See... I told you... You'll hate me for telling you", I whisper before standing up and running toward my room. Part of me hoped that I would hear him following but another part of me knew that it wasn't likely to happen. It didn't happen. He didn't follow me. I make it to my room and cry my heart out. I end up crying myself to sleep.