The Lost Immune (The Walking Dead/Carl Grimes)

Endearment (Chapter 11)

Welp it's the moment you've all been waiting for... the thing I've been avoiding for three years... the thing I'm terrible at writing... the thing I purposefully waited to write because I wanted character development... the one and only... smut
Imma hide under a rock after posting this.

Casey's POV

"What is it?" He asked brushing my hair back with his fingers.

"Maggie mentioned something to me today that I never really thought about. I mean, I guess it's crossed my mind. But I don't know, it's stupid."

"It's probably not, come on, tell me."

"Maggie had I assumed you and I have done... it."

"It?" He wasn't catching on.

"Yeah, you know. The thing that makes people have babies." I shrugged and he began laughing.

"You can say the word sex, Casey." My face grew red and I buried it into his chest feeling vulnerable. "It's okay, why did she think that?"

"She said we'd been together for so long, and we're so in love. So she just assumed." I shrugged.

"Well what did you think about it?"

"I corrected her saying we didn't, we haven't." I avoided eye contact with him.

"Well yeah, but what did you think?"

"What do you mean?" Now I feel like the clueless one.

"Do you want to?"

"Do it?" I asked in a whispered.

"Have sex, yes."

"I don't know, do you want to?"

"Only if you do." He replied and my face grew red again.

Of course he was putting this on me. Let's see, everything that could go wrong. We could get caught in the act. One of us might do something wrong. It could make things awkward between us. And oh yeah, I could get pregnant.

But there are pros. We could become closer. We'd express our love and loyalty to each other. It's supposed to feel good, but apparently not the first time. But I don't feel pain anymore, I guess. I'm sure somewhere around here we could find a condom.

Oh my God. Am I actually thinking about having sex? With Carl Grimes? The boy I met when I was a child and he was a child. We are still children. But this world is so messed up, would it even matter?

"Yes. I do want to. But only if we find protection." I looked at him and his face lit up slightly and he nodded.

"I'm sure there is something somewhere. We can go look." I nodded, we both rolled out of bed.

"I'll check the bathrooms." I stated.

"I'll look in peoples bags." We both nodded and parted ways. I went into the bathroom and searched the cabinets. And of course, there it was. A few of them connected to each other at the back of a drawer. I ripped one off and contemplated if I wanted to hide it in my pocket, I'm not sure if I wanted to tell Carl yet. Would we do it now? Or should it be special? Is anyone in the house?

"You found one!" Carl popped into the doorway staring at my hand. I knew I should've put it in my pocket, I don't know if I'm ready. "What's wrong?"

"What if we get caught?" I asked biting my tongue.

"We're old enough to make our own decisions. No one can tell us not to do it." I'm sure he was referring to Rick. "But if you want we can put a baby camera by the front door to see if anyone walks in." I bit my lip and nodded. Judith was asleep in her crib. We took the camera out of her room and place it by the front door. Then we put the monitor on the night stand.

So there we were. He stood close in front of me. We both looked down at the singular condom in my hand. My hand obviously began to shake a little. He grabbed my hand gently and kissed my forehead.

"We don't have to if you don't want to." He whispered.

"I... I want to." I reassured myself. I'm deciding now. I want to do it. It's now or never. And the sooner the better. Get it out of the way. Maybe it will become a normal thing. Hopefully I'll like it. Hopefully he'll like it. Stop overthinking, Casey.

I slid the condom on the table next to the baby monitor. Carl took my hands and rested his forehead against mine. I raised my chin slightly so our lips were aligned. We made brief eye contact before inching closer. His lips were warm. A new feeling that I haven't felt when we've kissed before.

My hands moved into his hair to deepen the kiss. His hands went to my hips and our bodies moved closer. Our shoes were already off, but every other article of clothing was on. I removed my hands from his hair but kept the kissing going. I began to unbutton his blue flannel exposing his soft pale skin. With a little assistance from him, it slid to the floor. He broke the kiss so he could pull my shirt over my head. Then I helped him shimmy off my jeans. It was nothing new seeing each other half naked, but it felt different.

His eyes examined my body. His fingers tracing over every scar and mark on my body. I suddenly grew self conscious but didn't do anything about it. He reached for the back of my bra but I stopped him.

"Not this time." I said and he nodded respectfully. He removed his hand from my bra and rubbed my back. I reached for his jeans and slid them off of his legs. He kicked them to the side leaving us both in our underwear unsure of where to go next. I motioned for the bed and he nodded. I threw open the covers and I went under first. He slid in next to me but then got on top of me. That's when it really hit me that this was happening. And I liked it.

After a few more minutes of our lips connected and our bodies grinding slowly against each other, I felt his hand reach for my underwear. I tended up a little causing him to stop. But I gave him a small nod telling him it was okay to keep going. I'd just never been exposed like this in front of anyone. I could feel the material slip down to my knees and I kicked them off my ankles. Eye contact remained the whole time no matter what. Sure I felt slightly embarrassed for no reason, and very exposed. But it was okay. It was in front of the boy I love.

There was a small pause as he reached over to grab the condom. He opened the packed and placed the rapper in the trash can. Our eye contact was broken but I still looked at the ceiling while he placed it over himself. There was a slight anxiety with not knowing what he looked like, down there. I didn't know what to expect when he entered my body.

"Are you ready?" He asked and I nodded. Our eye contact reconnected and he pushed my leg up a little. I gasped at the unfamiliar feeling. As soon as I felt pain I could feel my eyes turn red. I was beyond embarrassed. "Shh, it's okay." He whispered dragging his thumb down my cheek. I nodded and smiled, my eyes didn't return back to normal in fear of feeling pain. I guess it was good for the both of us. No pain. All pleasure. No interruptions. It was perfect in our own way.

After it was over we were changed. We're not who we used to be. We're just two ghosts standing in the place of him and I. Trying to remember what it feels to have a heart beat.

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Oof gotta blast.
Just kidding, it wasn't as smutty as I expected it to be as weird as that sounds. It was cute, we got to see Casey's vulnerable side. I'm pretty okay with how it turned out, honestly didn't know it would be a whole chapter but it be that way sometimes. The song is Two Ghosts by the loml Harry Styles. Have a good week, hope this chapter made it better ;) Much Love!