Right In Front of Me

Chapter 27

I woke up early the next morning. I knew the football team would have to be at school early. I actually texted Kayla in the middle of the night to see if she knew how early from Alex. She said they had to be there at 7am. I felt a little tinge of guilt because I probably woke her up, but she probably knew it was because I was going to try to tell Mason.

It's about 6:30 right now. Mason would need to leave by 6:45 to make sure he gets to school at 7am. I quietly head downstairs, as my parents are still asleep. They're going to the game today as well with Mason's family. I grab a jacket and Mason's gift on my way out and sit on my front doorstep, waiting for Mason to come out.

He comes out just a few minutes later. At first, he doesn't see me. But right when he's about to get in his car, he notices me. "Lauren?" he asks, closing his car door, heading towards me. I get up as well, meeting him in the middle of our front yards. "What are you doing up so early? I heard you were sick."

"Happy Birthday," I say, handing him his present. I didn't wrap it well. I just stuck it in a bag with some tissue paper. He peers around the tissue paper and sees the stop sign. He pulls it out and a smile radiates his face. He likes the gift. Good.

"Lauren, you didn't have to," he tells me, still with a smile on his face.

"I wanted to," I say, giving him a small smile. "There's a letter in there too. Don't forget to read it." He looks at me in confusion. "Before the game. After. Whenever you want. I know you have to go. I'll be watching in the stands."

"You're still coming? But you're sick. I heard you got that stomach bug bad."

"Wouldn't miss it," I tell him, echoing what I said a few days ago. I give him a genuine smile. "You better go before you're late. I'm going to go shower. I haven't since I've gotten sick. I know I look like a hot mess."

"You can never look like a hot mess," he tells me shyly. I feel myself blushing, red radiating my cheeks.

"Good luck, Mase. I know you'll kick ass out there," I say before heading back to my front door. He gives me a small wave before getting in his car to head over to school.

I know I took the easy way out. But I couldn't tell him to his face. Because I was scared of the rejection. What if he really didn't feel the same way? I doubt he doesn't like me thanks to everything that everyone has said recently, but I still, I was afraid. So I wrote the letter to him instead.

This is what I told him.

Mason,

Happy Birthday!!! I can't believe we're both 17 already. Crazy how time flies, huh? Feels like just yesterday we were 5 years old going to kindergarten together.

I know you'll do great today (or did great, if you're reading this after the game). No matter what, I am so proud of you. You've done amazing this season and I couldn't be any more proud.

Now, here gets to the hard part for me. I know these last couple months have been tense for us. I know I shouldn't have gone off on you in the hall and cafeteria like that, but I was angry and upset that you ditched me. But I realized something and I think it just escalated my feelings when I went off.

I love you, Mason Andrew Shaw. I think I have for a long time, but I just realized it. I'm not sure if you feel the same way, so I may be shooting myself in the foot saying this, but it's true, I love you. You're the person I'm always most comfortable around. I light up around you. I always look for you first in a crowded room. You're the person I want when I'm in need. You always know when I need to laugh, need to someone to talk to, or just when I need someone to comfort me, even if I say I want to be alone. You always know when I really don't want to be alone. It's like you can read my thoughts.

You know everything about me. My favorite of everything. You know I go straight for cookies 'n cream ice cream when I'm upset. You know I absolutely love chocolate milkshakes from Clark's. You know my favorite team is the Rams, and even though you don't like them, you still watch their games with me because you know I like them. You think I'm crazy for watching Grey's Anatomy and chick flicks. But I know in a heartbeat, you would sit there with me and watch them. You know I absolutely cannot stand the smell of cinnamon, even though I love cinnamon rolls. You know my favorite type of pizza is sausage and you get it for me every time we decide to order pizza. And there's so much more. You know me better than anyone.

But just like you know everything about me, I know everything about you. Better than anyone. I know you love the 49ers and football because of your grandpa. Your favorite color is red. When your nervous, you tend to tap your right foot a lot. If you could, you'd eat bacon every meal of the day because it's your favorite food. You absolutely love horror movies, but know I don't, so you never suggest watching them when we have a movie night even though I would still watch it with you (though I'd probably hide behind you most of the time). You're actually an excellent cook whether you'd like to admit it or not. Your favorite superhero is Captain America and favorite superhero film is The Winter Soldier (remember we saw that together?). As a kid though, you absolutely loved anything Toy Story related and Buzz Lightyear was your favorite toy you had. Your room is so messy but it's such an organized mess because you somehow know where everything is. You protect and defend your friends like they are your family. I could keep going but I would need hundreds of pages.

I always thought this is how it was supposed to be with best friends, but really, I think this is how it's supposed to feel when you are in love with your best friend. It killed me more than anything when you stopped talking to me. No matter how hard I tried to be happy, I wasn't. I tried so damn hard but the reason I wasn't happy was because I didn't have you. I should have known at homecoming how I felt. Maybe even before. But I was blind and went out with both Tanner and John instead. I am sorry for that. I may have realized this all too late.

So Mason, I love you. Even if you don't love me back. You will always be my knight in shining armor and savior to me.

Happy Birthday.

-Lauren

I really hope it isn't too late to have my chance with Mason.