Right In Front of Me

Chapter 23

I was up all night. Literally. I maybe slept only a good two hours, three tops. I couldn't get Mason off my mind.

I don't know how I didn't notice sooner. I truly don't. But maybe I always felt this way and I just buried it deep inside because it's how I thought that's how it should be with your best friend. But I guess I was wrong.

I know Kayla and Bailey tried to tell me, but I didn't really listen. I thought they were being stupid. Still, I couldn't get it out of my head. Could they be right? Then I locked eyes with Mason at the game. I began to think they were right. But Tanner. He opened my eyes. He really explained it to me and in the process, I figured out that I had feelings too. Strong feelings. It makes sense, really. Why I was never truly happy with John. Why Tanner became distant. Why we never had sex, because it wasn't him who I loved.

I surprised myself by texting Tanner after I left his house and told him he was right. I said I was sorry, because I felt like I had led him on completely. He told me not to worry about it, I was blind and didn't know. I said sorry again still. Tanner then shocked me and told me to just tell Mason. He said he bet Mason knows of his own feelings, but doesn't know mine.

I thought about it all night and even texted Tanner for some advice. I was going to tell Mason today at school. That went out the window quickly when I spot him in the hallway.

He was with this girl, a senior I think. Tan, platinum blonde hair. Extremely pretty. She was wearing this short dress, showing off her long legs. They were flirting. She was batting her eyelashes and obnoxiously laughing at him. He had his new signature cocky grin on his face, checking her out. She then whispers something in his ear and I see him raise his eyebrows seductively.

I heard him and Lydia broke up around the time John and I did last week. So I had hope. Especially after the look at the game on Saturday and that I figured out I liked him, I hoped that this could be it. But I guess I was wrong. All that hope quickly washed away.

I quickly blink away the tears I feel welding up in my eyes and go to my locker to get books my next couple classes.

"How'd it go?" I hear as I'm in my locker. I know its Tanner. He's the one who convinced me to talk to him. I told him I was going to first thing this morning. When I close my locker, I guess my face isn't hiding my emotions too well. "Lauren, are you okay?" he asks, putting a gentle hand on my shoulder.

I shake my head. I don't know why I was so hopeful. Just because he broke up with Lydia and we had this special look over the weekend, shouldn't have meant that we'd be okay. That I'd be able to tell him how I feel. "He was with some girl," I say quietly, still blinking tears away.

Tanner got exactly what I mean. He pulls me into a hug. "I'm sorry, Lauren. He'll come around when he knows. I promise. Us guys are idiots and don't take cues well."

"Thanks Tanner," I give him a small, sincere smile. I didn't think a few months later, Tanner and I would be at this position. Actually talking. Being there for each other. Starting to maybe be friends again. After I saw him hooking up with that girl, I didn't even want to look in his direction. But now, I do feel like it's more my fault. I didn't know that I had these strong feelings for another guy. If I knew, none of that would have happened.

The bell rings, indicating we need to go to class. "I'll see you around. Text me if you need anything," he says as he walks in the opposite direction towards his class.

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"Since when were you so friendly with Tanner Hayes again?" says Bailey, with an annoyed tone, right when she sits down at our lunch table. Kayla's with her, sitting next to her with the same wondering look on her face.