When It Comes To You |j.k

76: 擁抱

"I don't know," I say again.

"You don't have to see her today." She comforted, lips caressing my forehead with a kiss different from the ones we exchanged just minutes ago.

"No, I have to, or else I never will," I mumbled with a heavy sigh. I closed my eyes back shut and relished the sensation of her nails raking through my scalp. Aera's taken a liking to my long hair lately. She won't stop begging me to put it in a bun. It'd just look stupid. I feel a tug at the end of my lips when she held my locks in her fist. She really wants that bun.

"You should get ready now, she'll be here soon." The warmth of her palm left my head and landed on my chest as she caressed my skin. My stomach almost flipped at her touch. I grab her hand to stop her and chuckle with my eyes still closed. It's like she doesn't even want me to leave the bed.

"What?" Aera questioned in genuine confusion.

"Keep your hands off of me if you want me to get something done. I'm still a man, you know." I open my eyes to meet her reaction. Yup, she's red. Aera immediately takes her leg back and distances herself from me. My head falls harshly against the mattress.

Jesus.

***

"Thanks for coming all the way to my house," I greeted my own mother as if we were business partners, with my hand scratching the back of my head.

"You just got back, I figured you'd be too tired to go out." My mother was more put together today than usual. She looks like she's been taking care of her health, but that frown just won't go away. Before Father died, she constantly had an angry expression, now she just looks depressed all the time. She didn't deal with it too well either, she was coping with alcohol and I still don't know where she was whenever she came home in the middle of the night. Wherever it is, I don't blame her. She just wanted to be anywhere that had no traces of her husband.

"You had something to talk to me about?" I coughed, making my way to the couch as she placed her high heels neatly by our set of shoes.

My ears were burning like hot coal and I wish Aera was down here with me instead of showering on her own upstairs. But I know she wanted us to have some alone time.

"Aera is upstairs," I told my mother who'd just sat herself down on the sofa. She wouldn't look at me, her eyes just kept to the floor, even as she nodded.

"You're all grown up," My mother chuckled bitterly as she uncrumpled the tissue in her palm with shaking fingers, "Living with your own fiancée and all."

"Yeah," I swallowed.

"I wish I was there for you more, Jungkook." She finally lifted her head up to look at me. I stayed frozen in my spot with my breath stolen from my lungs. I've never seen her look at me like that before. She was frowning like always, but she wasn't looking for pity, she wasn't looking for me to admit my 'mistakes'. She looks like she feels bad for me for some reason, and maybe, she even feels sorry.

I waited for her to say something passive-aggressive, or something that would direct me into comforting her, but it never comes.

"Especially when Haeyoung and your father passed away. God gifted me with such a warm man as a son, and I wasn't even able to be half the person you are now as your mother. I know I was horrible to you, I'm not asking you to forgive me, son," I felt my stomach twist at the sight of the single tear sliding down her left cheek, "I just want you to know how sorry I am."

I fought to hold back my own lump in my throat with an unstable breath. My whole body was burning as if there was a spotlight over my head, "Why...why do you-Why now? What was it?" My eyes widened, "Are you sick?"