Blue 2

Chapter One

The car comes to a stop outside of the hotel dad stayed in the last time he was here, and I stop to wonder: what if I hadn't accepted his offer to take me back to the dorm the night of their biker bar gig? None of this would have happened. He would have seen how I wasn't susceptible to deception and moved onto another unsuspecting girl. I wish he had. I sound horrible for thinking this, but I wouldn't have made the mistake of loving him and falling into his trap.

I climb out of the car and stare at my warm breath floating in the cold air. Everyone walking pass is shivering and desperately rubbing their hands for warmth, but I don't feel the chilly weather. I'm too numb to feel anything.

* * *

The suitcase I packed is at the dorm, so I have to borrow clothes from aunt Lyra. I was supposed to spend the three weeks with dad and Lyra, showing them New York. But since staying at a hotel for three weeks would be highly expensive, I planned to ask Catherine and Samuel if we could stay in their townhouse. I had a feeling they would be more than generous to house us, and they'd mingle more, and Blue and I would spend our first Christmas together with our blended family. But things didn't go to plan. Instead of this being the start of the beginning for us, I have to flee New York.

I make a beeline towards the bathroom when I enter my room. I stay under the rushing water for as long as I can before my skin tingles from the hot pressure. Getting out is harder than I expect because, in the closed space, I was able to sob like an idiot without fearing anyone hearing me. Now I'm out in the open and vulnerable, more than my nakedness factor. I can't cry anymore.

I sniffle and stand five feet from the foggy mirror, terrified of how I will look. But as much as I want to hide from the truth and conceal my heartache in the shower, I can't let Blue control my life anymore. I won't let him be my ultimate downfall. If girls can get their hearts broken and get back up, then so can I.

Sniffling, I pad over to the sink and swipe my palm across the cloudy mirror. My eyes are puffy and red from tears, and my bottom lip is swollen from chewing it all night. I run my tongue over my lip and look down at my hands. They're curled around the porcelain sink and shaking from so much anxiety. I momentarily close my eyes before grabbing a towel from the shelf next to the mirror and wrapping it around my body. Finding a complimentary brush in the counter, I release my hair from the tight bun and brush out the tangles and knots. I pull it into a low ponytail and wash my face. Too large, reddish eyes and swollen lips stare back at me, but at least I look a little better. After pulling on the shorts and oversized old college sweatshirt Lyra lent me, I exit the bathroom.

My room isn't massive, but it's a good enough size. I grab the television remote off the dresser and fall on the plush queen bed and turn on the TV on the dresser. I feel number than ever as I flip through channels but don't really look at the pictures quickly clicking by. My head is too crowded by thoughts I don't want to think about, and I have no interest in any of the movies. I wouldn't want to watch them anyway, they're mostly old cowboy movies in black and white. I end up settling on the movie Coraline. It creeped me out when I watched it as a kid, but it does the job of keeping me engrossed for a half hour.

When Coraline escapes the world created by her Other Mother, I find myself slipping into the mess that is my head. In ways more than one, I am sort of like Coraline. I was sated by the real world. Although she obviously craved more than just what was, I secretly wanted to experience adventure and love. Years of devoting my life to dance enhanced my love for it, but it didn't stop the want of feeling more than bruised ankles. Just like Coraline, I was presented a way into a new world: a world of wonder and bright lights and overwhelming joy. Blue was my magical world, a place where I could be myself. But, just like Coraline, he turned out to be a massive lie. He wasn't magical at all, he was a wolf in sheep's clothing.