Indifferent or not || Taekook

9 - Wish

29th June

Finally the last day of school.
Here comes the time I won't have that many chances to see my friends but holidays at sommer cottage is coming closer. That reminds me that i haven't actually asked HyungSik about others yet and it's next week.
Jungkook isn't looking very good, but it's understandable, he is hurt. I wanna have him all smiling and cute, his bunny teeth showing and his laugh that sounds like 'hya hya hya hya'. Oh how much I miss it.

„Taehyung-aaah, Jungkook-aaah!" I hear Jimin from the school corridor calling us. The last class of the year just ended. „Let's go to arcades!" he scream while entering out classroom.
„I'm good." Jungkook rejects the invitation with hand wave and packs his stuff.
„Let's go, Kook, you have to spend some time with us." I try to convince him.
„You know, I'm not in a mood, Tae." He responds simply.
„I know exactly in what mood you are and I know what can make it better, so shut up and come with us, ok?" i look at him determined. He has to come.

It was fun at arcades like everytime. Jungkook laughed, he really did. I love that. Jimin took his part in it too, of course.
We went home earlier and I took the chance to talk to HyungSik about inviting others to Summer cottage.

„Bear?" I half whisper the nickname as i have my face buried in his chest, cuddling. He responds with hum which sends vibration in my ear.
„Can I ask you something?"
„Of course you can, baby." He continues reading his book.
„Can I invite others too?" I start drawing circles with my finger on his t-shirt.
„To where?"
„The summer cottage.." I can feel HyungSik tense up.
„Who do you mean by others?"
„Jungkook, Jimin, Hoseok, Yoongi, Jin and Namjoon.." I name all of my friends, tapping finger with each name. HyungSik puts down his book and sits up, making me sit up too.
„It's supposed to be only for the two of us." He says with straight face but his eyes say he's mad.
„Well..Jungkook was cheated on and I wanted to make him feel better.. so I thought.." I say.. And of course, I always realize things late.. „I mean.. I..I.." I start to panic. I can feel my neck swell inside, making it hard to breath and not being able to talk properly. The look in HyungSiks eyes changes real fast from angry to shocked, worried and scared. He holds my hand until the attack goes away.

HyungSik agreed in the end. That was the first time I got an attack without fainting right in front of his eyes. I feel so embarrassed.

9th July

It's the day when all of us jumps on a bus and get on the way to our destination. I should be excited right? Like others are, right? I'm not calm and excited. i'm trembling, trying not to let others know. I promised myself that we'll have a great time, that I'll make Jungkook laugh non-stop, give everyone my attention, pamper everyone, take care of them, help Jin with cooking and so much more.. But the weekend starts with me staring blankly out of the bus window, lost in my own thought.

I'm so disappointed in myself.