I Should Have Saved You- Mileven

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WARNING: MAJOR MILEVEN DEPRESSION- WILL MAKE YOU CRY.

Sorry.

**

"You ready kid?" Hopper asks, gun in his hand. Eleven gulps nervously at the sight of the Mind Flayer peering through the rift. It's head moves around curiously, sensing the presence of two humans.

She nods, and stares at what she would imagine would be the monster's eyes. She raises her right hand, and concentrates with all her might upon what she was trying to do.

End the monster's reign upon Hawkins. Her hand shakes, power surging through her body as she focuses harder than ever on completing the mission. She can soon feel blood slowly trickle out of her nose, but she ignores it, her mind thinking of every reason she had to close the gate.

"I can't lose you again." Mike's eyes shine with worrisome tears, and she bites her lip, scanning his features for what could be the last time.

He does the same, wishing he could hold her forever. He had finally gotten to be with her after 353 torturous days of worrying if she was even alive. And now she had to risk her life once more.

"You won't lose me." She whispers, taking a small step closer to him, lost in his brown eyes.

"Do you promise?" He asks, voice shaking with worry and fear. He couldn't bare to even think of losing her again. She was his life, the reason he was still sane.

"Promise." She tries to send him a reassuring smile, but it is only a weak one.

He was her reason.

Hopper's eyes train upon the gate, seeing it slowly close. She was doing it, she was closing the gate.

More and more memories flash into her mind; Dr. Brenner torturing her continuously; meeting Benny; Mike, Dustin, and Lucas finding her in the forest; seeing his school; defeating the demogorgon; Hopper finding her in the same forest the gang had originally found her in; Hopper raising her like his daughter; meeting her mother who was in a coma state; meeting her sister; seeing Mike again.

Everything had brought her to this exact moment; face to face with the monster that had tortured her since she was young. The monster who had hurt everyone she cared for.

She was going to win this. She was going to close the gate, even if it kills her.

She raises her left hand, feeling that only using her right hand wasn't enough. Her hands shake, and she feels a burst of pain sear at her body, but she ignores it, she had to do this.

The weight of the lift underneath her feet seems to disappear, and she soon realizes she is levitating. She lets out a loud scream, both from power and pain.

Hopper stares at the girl, something wasn't right. Blood spills rapidly out of her nose, and her face is almost distorted as veins strain against her burning skin. The pain she feels is nearly unbearable, but she chokes it back; the gate was nearly closed.

She lets out a ear-splitting scream, pushing the last bit of energy she has out of her body. The gate patches itself together, and she can no longer see the monster.

She slightly smiles, before dropping to the ground, blackness surrounding her as she feels nothing anymore.

"Jane!" Is the last thing she hears, before going limp, and Hopper chokes out a sob, clutching the motionless body of the girl he had seen as his daughter.
***

"It worked! El, you did it!" Mike exclaims, jumping up from the couch as soon as the door opens. Hopper closes the door behind him, eyes trained upon his shoes.

"W-Where's El?" Mike's face drops, as he tries to see if El is outside, waiting for him.

"Mike." Hopper chokes out, and Mike is shocked to hear such a weak tone coming from the man he had always seen as such a tough person.

The others are all on their feet, waiting to hear if she was okay. Will clutches his mom's hand, and she squeezes it.

"S-She's gone." Hopper cries, not bothering to hold back his tears anymore. Mike's world seems to crumble in front of him.

He lost her, forever this time.

"No." Mike states, after a moment of grieving silence. Hopper looks up, meeting eyes intensely with the hopeless boy. "What do you mean no?" He asks, voice raised a fraction.

"Y-You're lying. She's going to be right outside the door, waiting to surprise us. She's not... she's not gone." He clenches his fist, trying to hold back the hot tears that brim his eyes.

"Mike. I wish I was lying. She closed the gate... but it was too much for her. She died. She's gone." Hopper walks to him, and places a hand on his shoulder.

A deep connection forms between them; they both cared for her the most. The pain and loss they felt was unbelievable, but it was all too real.

"I'm sorry." Hopper says lowly, and Mike walks into his chest, bawling loudly. Hopper wraps his arms around the boy, tears too falling freely.
***

Mike stares down at the grave. Tears prick at his eyes, and he blinks them back. He had to eventually move on; it had been 4 years since she died. He takes a deep breath, and lays a pink rose down next to her grave; something he did every anniversary of the day they met.

Pink was her favorite color. "Pretty" she called it. It made her feel safe, and she felt free when she saw the color.

He bites his lip, and reads the engraved words he had seen all too much. Here lies Jane Eleven Hopper; April 15, 1971- September 19, 1984. Loving daughter, girlfriend, and friend.

She died too soon. She had a whole life in front of her. He had wanted to live a long life with her, go to school together, move in together, get married, have kids, watch their kids have kids, and die old together.

But none of that would happen. She was gone.

"I'm sorry, El." He whispers, planting a small kiss on the grave. Tears fall slowly down his face, and he wipes them with his sleeve.

"I should have saved you."
***

*smiles through the pain* I miss them.

Word count: 1037

Instagram: @/wolfhardshook

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