Vulnerability

~ 1~

"Shit."

I immediately grab my big toe in an attempt to subdue the sharp pain that courses through me after banging it against the glass coffee table. I hop around the compact dorm room on one leg, looking like a complete idiot. Due to my childish reaction, I almost face-plant onto the dark walnut-colored hardwood flooring. I finally give up and place my leg down, deciding that I would let the pain subside on its own.

As I get through the first struggle of the day, I take the courage to pull out the fiery-pink bordered full-length mirror that resides in the deepest, darkest corner of my quaint closet. I lean it up against the sliding wood-finished closet door. Glaring into the reflecting surface, I'm first met with my draining dark auburn eyes.

I become weary of staring at the acne that litters my face and gaze at the entirety of my body, which leads me to nod apathetically. My love handles spill out of the black leggings while my silk bra held my non-existent breasts. I've become accustomed to the ordinary disdain for how I look.

My thumb and index finger pinch at my inner thighs through the thin black leggings I am wearing, trying to see what they would look like if I got the excess fat removed. The various stretch marks that line my upper thighs beneath the thin elastic leggings plague my thoughts causing my face to form a slight grimace.

I granted myself this particular morning routine every once in a while. Unfortunately for me, I had to feel shitty about myself on my first day of classes at university.

I attempt to fit a cheap plain black sweater over my abnormally large head full of loose ebony curls.

A relieved breath is exhaled once my head pops through the opening of the sweater. "Thank God."

Moving on, I grab the keys to my car along with my navy blue backpack and basically sprint out of my dorm room with my filthy black Converse padding against the carpeted hallway.

After getting halfway down the hall, I realize that my dumbass forgot to lock my door. I jog back to secure the lock with my key and check the time on my antiquated wristwatch as I turn to run back down the hallway. It shows me that it's nearing twenty minutes before class is set to start. My legs instantly speed up past one another as if realizing for themselves that I'm almost late.

My legs are up in flames by the time I settle into the beat-up Chevy I bought myself during my last year of high school. The slight pivot of the key in the ignition starts up the engine... and my radio.

"LITTLE BITCH YOU CAN'T FUCK WITH M-"

To my surprise, I've left my radio on. I grab ahold of what's left of my weak, brittle heart as I turn down the blasting music, ultimately interrupting Cardi's verse.

"Motherfucker!" I scream out in utter frustration as I bang both of my arms against the steering wheel.

This morning is already starting off rough.

________

I shift my car into park once I settle into a parking space hidden behind a large, thunder gray truck.

My eyes take in the numerous peach-tone buildings that make up my new school. The University of South Orlando. The school that holds one of the top biochemistry programs in the country.

Stepping out of the vehicle, my direct line of sight allows for me to observe who I believe to be Professor Barr, my chemistry professor, greeting everyone into his classroom. The location of the class he is standing outside of gives me the hint. The first floor of the science building.