365 Days (ziam fanfiction)

Day 200

Day 200

Time 124pm

   I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling.  my phone has been ringing off the hook...  I don't have to look to know its the boys. I haven't talked to them in days.  any of em.  i just need to unplug and rest for a bit.  I haven't called my therapist yet and I'm more than sure she's worried and I'm going to end up in a mental hospital.... I feel like I need to be put in one...  I feel like I'm losing myself...  I haven't cut yet and I'm starting to itch,  it's becoming unbearable. the ache in my chest is now reached my whole body...  and I cannot get out of bed anymore. I miss Zayn and I feel a heavy amount of guilt inside me for what I did to Harry...  he's broken now...  and it's all my fault.. I hear a knock at the door and I slowly get out of bed and go to the door... I open it as I rub my eyes...  I see someone I never expected to see in a million years...  zayn?

"zayn? wh-what are you doing here?"

his eyes seems swollen and his cheeks seems pink... I notice dry tears that stain his cheeks.

he sobs and steps toward me he reaches up and touches my face and caresses my cheek. my breathing stops and I know in should pull away, I know I should step back and shut the door in his face... but I don't I stand still letting him touch my face in a way he hasnt in months. he says in a broken sad voice "I really did love you li.. I never meant to hurt you.. "

tears fall down his cheeks as he says "I still love you so much. I just... I never thought itd be this hard." I let out a shaky breathe...  I still stay forzen where I'm at as he continues... "at first it was to cover us up...  to get some attention off how close we are...  but as I continued to talk to her...  I started to fall for her...  when I decided to let you go...  it nearly killed me... I just I needed to let you go..  you deserve someone happier... better... something more simple...  it's just... " he breaks out in a sob that seems never ending. his hand stays on my cheek as he explains all of this.  "I loved you so much...  the company pressured me to break us off...  I thought you'd be better off...  I didn't know I'd hurt you as much as I did...  I'm so sor--" he stops mid-sentence and he wraps his arm around my neck and pulls me into a hug.  hes shaking uncontrollably so I step back barely able to move...  I lead him inside and close the door. I sit down and he follows me.  he wraps his arms around my neck and lays his legs on mine.  I start to lay down and pull him with me.  we lay entangled in each other.  his body shakes as he cries.  I hold him tighter than I have ever did before.  "I-i l-loved y-you I-i d-did." I grip him even more tighter than before and whisper "I know.  I know. " as Tears fall down my face...