365 Days (ziam fanfiction)

Day 72

Day: 72

Time: 8:09 pm

             i cant breathe. i am trying to be quiet trying my best not to wake harry. we share a room, just my luck right? i lay doggystyle on the floor trying to calm my breathing. i let out a loud gasp unable to silence myself. harry jumps out of his sleep and sits straight out of the bed. i try to stop my breathing no such luck... "liam?" i hear and he fumbles out of bed and makes his way to me. i stare at the ceiling deciding to concentrate on that instead of harry now knowing whats happening which in fact makes everything so much more worse.i see harrys messy curls and then i see him get down and look at me alarmed. "whats wrong? w-what can i do? i should get someone." he rises to stand and i grab his arm grabbing harder than i should.. feeling myself go panicky i shake my head at him. he looks at me and hugs me. not knowing what else to do. i do not hug him back and somehow i am rather calm after a few minutes. i sit up after awhile and he folds his arm over his chest and stares at me. i stand up choosing to ignore this and mumble a thank you and go lay down. i turn my body around and am soon back asleep. 

i awake to quiet arguing at the foot of my bed. i see our manager and the boys staring at me after they realize i am awake. i set my head down and sigh knowing this is about last night. "i told them. i had to we are all worried about you." harry says quietly. i shake my head and glare at him "I. Am. Fine." i force a smile and try to look fine. whatever that is.. 

Louis speaks this time "doesnt seem like it. you seem sad and tired all the time."  i shake my head "me being quiet doesnt mean im sad." Niall  speaks "if you need to talk we are here. we love you liam and are here for you. you really dont seem fine. you can tell us anything. really.. whats wrong?"

i shake my head and laugh a little. "i am fine really guys." zayn doesnt speak at all just sits quietly in the back of the room. i can see him slowly drifting away from me..  just like that day...

harry speaks this time louder... and angerier. "thats bullshit and you know it. youve been moping around here the past few months and sleeping a lot. not the regular naps but sleeping all day. if i dont come in here and wake you up youd be in bed all day. you seem sad all the time and the only time i get a glimpse of the old you is on stage with us all. you never talk to any of us anymore. i dont know what the hell is going on with you or between you and zayn but you need to stop lying and come clean. because i can't do this anymore. i refuse."  i get up slowly

and walk right past the boys.

out of the room. 

out of the hotel.

and into the street.

i dont know where i am going.

i am just walking.