I am always told
"I am too nice"
"I give too much"
"I need to say no"
I have given everything to those who have provided me with nothing
Because nobody has held my crumbling body at 3:30am
Nobody has seen the way my eyes seem green when I am angry
They know of me but
Nobody knows who I am
A stone
Cold
Ruthless
Unforgiving
Possessive
Nothing.
Nobody has been everything they needed to be
Nobody has seen me punch clocks
Or walls
Or trees
Or myself
Until my hands are a new shade of crimson and my face is a marble of fire red and blue
Nobody has seen the way I slouch alone like a puppet without strings in the dark
Nobody has seen me at my darkest
Only the parts that I choose to show.
Nobody has seen me hug my knees in the bathroom corner, all water running, trying to drown the noise of vomit and tears
Nobody knows that my collection of candles is for me to expel my stench of not showering for weeks because I simply can't get up
Nobody knows how my motivation is the reason for my weakness and my strength
"I am too nice"
Because nobody was nice to me.
أنت تقرأ
I'm So Exhausted
الشعر#1 in poem #1 in poetrycollection #1 in vent #2 in memory this is just a compilation of my vent poetry-ish (that i can find) from 4th grade to whenever i stop this (I'm 18 now) Im not the best with words but i write in spouts of thoughts
