Bitter Hearts

Part 19: Am I Dreaming?

Ivan

"Kiss me if Im wrong but dinosaurs still exists right?" I asked her for fun. It was actually a rhetorical I don't expect anything from her. But she answered me seriously.

"Wrong"

And without a doubt, she approached her face on my face and touched my lips with her lips.

Am I dreaming? Is she really kissing me? Or the vodka that I drink was just making me hallucinate?

Because if I do, Im gonna kill someone who tries to wake me up, someone who tries to snap me back to reality.

I felt the softness of her lips. I have to cup her both cheeks to feel it deeper. We dont move. As much as I want to kiss her harder and aim for her tongue, I wont move. I wanna stop before anything more happen.

Believe it or not, I wont do anything to a girl before our marriage. It may be hard for the people who know me to believe it cause I have this aura of a bad boy from London a bad boy who had sex every night with every girl but I am a hundred percent sure a virgin. It is hard to admit about it so I told Xander  and Jake that Ive slept with girls a few times but none of them were true. Yes I make out and touch skins but I dont like casual sex. I dont want to be someone who will get virginity just to be cool, someone who will do it with hot girls just for fun. I have a mom I respect girls. I dont want to be someone like my dad. Damn, that will be the last thing I want to be, to be like my dad. Someone who plays girls feelings. So when a girl throws herself on me, I reject her immediately. It was hard sometimes given that most of girls who like me has big boobs that are so good to squeeze and bodies to die for. Temptation were always around me but, I just told them I am not in the mood to put my dick inside them. Maybe next time. I'll say. Call me snob call me gay but I am not someone who liked being chased by someone just for fame. It is just that there is really something about Andy Sumner right now. She doest have a body to die for. She has no boobs and no booty. And somehow I feel like I am the one who chases her. So it was actually a surprise when she's the one who made a first move of kissing me.

After seconds, she pulled back. And she was looking straight at me with her poker face. I cant read her. It seems like she regrets what she did but at the same time she really really likes it.

So it was my turn to put my face to her face and reach for her lips. I used my right hand to cup again her cheeks and this time, I passionately kissed her. I reached for her tongue and gives me shivers down my spine when she reached mine. She even put her body closer to me and put her arms around my back.

Heaven.

I feel heaven.
This brings me back to our first kiss. On the balcony by the beach. The wind was so cold and makes me feel numb. But when I kissed her, something inside me ignites. There was suddenly a fire inside my chest that made me warm.

One second I told her.

But after that one second, I just cant let go. I dont wanna let go. And it was surprising that she doesn't want either. The only thought that made me pull back is the fact that there are three bodies inside the room whom are Jake Xander and Hannah. They might wake up and misinterpret what we were doing alone in the balcony in the middle of the night.  But before we go back that night, I told her I like her. And I told her I dont wanna rush her where in fact I really really already wanna hear her say that she likes me back. And we could officially date and she would be officially mine and I would be officially hers.

I smiled in the middle of our kiss and she does the same. She looked at me in the eye, it was never our first kissed but it was a hundred times more feelings on this. Because she responses to my moves and I like it way too much.

"Ivan," she whispered.

"Hmm?"

She was still looking at me and lean back to her headboard again. She hesitates "Nothing."

"What is it?"

"You're drunk right?"

For a second I thought she doesnt like my breath and it was embarrassing so I twitch my lips and give her a grimace face.

"Yes, I do, I drink like 3 bottles of vodka." I said as a matter of fact. The liquid was intoxicating me. I wanna undress her right now and feel her skin against my skin. But my demon was so lazy to win over my conscience. I feel like I wanna do it but I dont wanna do it. It doesn't make sense. Nothing is making sense inside my head. I feel headache I feel bruises all over my body. I feel numb somehow only if we didnt kiss.

We kissed. What a thought. What a wonderful thought.

"So....?" She still hesitates what she really wants to say and it is kinda frustrating. If she keep on making me frustrated then maybe I will tear her blouse in a second. Gosh Andy Sumner what are you doing to me. I dont want sex. It is not what I want from you but I am drunk and I want to feel your skin right now.

I just blinked my eyes on her and still admiring her beauty though her chest is nothing admirable. And she's still contemplating whether to spill the words on her mouth on me or not.

"Tell me what is it." I said.

"Wont you remember this happened?"

Oh so that's what she worries about.

Why is she worried that I will remember this second kiss. The fact that it was the second time and it means we already did it. Why is she making this a big deal?

"I dont think so. Actually I really really wanna sleep now."

Soon she help me out to lay on her bed. She lined up her pillows and put blanket on me. And she lay beside me. Thinking we were under the same blankets makes me emotional. I mean sexually emotional. I feel like if she just tell me to take off her clothes I wont have second thought. Just the touch of her skin and I will not just ignite but burn this room down. I want her that is for sure. And I wish she knows how Im stopping all my horny hormones right now. I want to kiss every single part of her skin and squeeze her butt just like any of my other girls before. But I feel like she is someone I want to respect for the rest of my days. So as long as she wont tell me, I'll behave. I dont want her to take away the trust that she gave me.

"Ivan," I hear her whispered but I am half way in my sleep. Though my eyes were shut, i felt her filled the space between us and she put her head on my chest and at the same time put her arm around me. Finally I am feeling some of her skin. It soothes me. Im gonna fall in my sleep now and dream.

"I like you too." She whispered.