BTS ANGST [Requests closed]

Dear Diary (Page 1)

Date: -/-/-

  If who ever are the 7 women who got lucky in marrying the members I give you my blessings and for Bangtan 

Congratulations, you have found your princesses, queens rather. 

You found the light of your life. The person stuck in your mind 24/7. The woman that you will be spending your happy ever after with. That's the day when my heart and soul will shatter into bits of pieces. Tears will be rolling down from my cheeks like water falls. Endless nights of sobbing and weeping. I have lost my breathe and that's when I say goodbye. 

Tears are falling, not because of joy but because of sorrow. You had your downs and I had mine to but they were ten times more painful. I had the urge to just never breathe again but you were there to stop me

 but it was just a dream. I thought you really knew what i was going through. I thought you were really by my side comforting me saying that everything will be okay but who knew I was all dazing off in fantasy and soon I've realized that fate didn't want me to be with you.

 I live, laugh, and love but what can all those do when the only thing that I wanted was you. The only thing that i wanted was to Live with you, to laugh with you and to love you. 

What if one day I would loose all my memories and I have forgotten all about you. The days that I've cheered for you. The days that my vision went blurry because of all the tears, all of those were forgotten. 

Would my life go back to normal? 

My heart was left with a big scratch, trying to heal but eventually failed. I was now loosing my life, trying my hardest to live. But instead I have collapsed, breaking everything in my life. I was now shattered into bits. My devious life was now in a straight line because everything went black and that I could never wake up again to see what was going on. 

Soon, soon was the word. The word i was willing to risk my life for. It was a risk to take for the future to be revealed for my very eyes to witness. I needed to walk on paths i never have ever before, but this path was too dangerous. Would i risk my life to see my ending, my happy ending? 

But the question is would my ending be you? 

I'm deeply in love with you, not as a fan but as a normal person. 

A lover. 

I fell in your trap. I was in deep slumber when you carried me from far away to here that is why I never knew what happened in just a split second. 

I cried a lot during the times I just saw you in screens. I was dreaming of seeing you perform live but it was truly impossible. 

My heart, it still isn't healed. 

Well of course it isn't, I loved you too much until I was hurting but the craziest thing is

You never knew I did. 

Even if I'm just a fan, I treated you as one of the billions of people roaming around the Earth. I treat you as a normal human being. Not minding about all the other fans you have, there seeking to be with you.... 

Well eventually out of the nine planets, two hundred and four countries, seven seas and I fell in love with the person I can never have.

The person who mattered to me the most and who I loved so dearly 

But 

Never gave me back the love I needed