Sang's Sins

Chapter Eight

A body cocooned mine, my hands warm in-between someone else's. I blinked my eyes open slowly.

Kota's soft hair fell into his face. He looked younger than he ever had. I imagined waking up to this when we were both still human, where we could eat breakfast then go to work then come home and spend time together just to do it all again the next day.

I shook my head. What am I thinking? Kota would never think of me like that.

I pulled my wrists out of his grip to lightly graze his jaw. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so safe, so cared for.

His eyes fluttered open, his brows furrowing in sleepy confusion. "Sang?"

I hummed in response. His eyes looked suspiciously glossy before he pulled me to his body. He wrapped one hand behind my shoulders, the other pulling at my head. With one movement I was laid out beneath him, his head buried in my neck.

I rested my hands on his back. "Kota?"

He shook his head slightly. It wasn't until I felt a warm liquid that I realized he was crying. My sweet, loving, smart Kota was crying.

"What's wrong," I whispered.

He took a minute to pull away. When he did, he pressed his forehead against mine. Tears welled up in my eyes at his broken expression.

"Sang, I am so sorry. I left you. I-I thought maybe it wasn't so bad. I didn't want it to be bad. I didn't want to even think about what you could have endured. I mean, I saw what your mom did. What else was she capable of? Tell me what she did to you," his voice cracked.

"Kota," I pressed his face with my hands, "I'm fine. Nothing is your fault."

"Tell me," he demanded.

I shook my head, my voice small, "Kota..."

"I need to know. I need to know all of it. I need to know what I left you at the mercy of."

"Why? You can't fix it. It's over with and I'm fine."

He pulled back to rest on his knees, "That's not true and you know it. It never has been. For years I let you tell me you were fine. No more. I have to," his voice broke off, "I have to fix it."

"Sweetie..."

"Sang, you stopped breathing. You had a nightmare and you had a panic attack. You stopped breathing twice and I. Wasn't. There. I was never there when I should have been."

Memories flashed through my mind. My mom holding me underwater, North about to beat me to a pulp, being restrained.

"Kota, listen to me. You were the only person that kept me going for as long as I did. If you hadn't been in my life, I would've died a long time ago and I wouldn't have any of the good memories that I have right now." I raised up to wrap my arms around his waist. A bittersweet feeling passed through me at the familiar action.

We stayed like that for a few minutes. Him holding me to him like I would disappear if I moved even an inch. My ear laid against his warm chest.

I was stupid before. I let my fear get to me and I somehow managed to group Kota in with the bad people. Maybe North didn't like me and could cause me terrible pain but I don't care anymore. Kota would never let him touch me like that and I refused to cause any more hurt to Kota.

I pulled back, "Let's go do something. Get out of this room for once. I've been here for, what, three days? We haven't even done anything fun yet."