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eliza's pov

my alarm blared and i rolled over in my tiny bed. i turned it off and rubbed my eyes. i took my phone off its charger and scrolled through my social media for a few minutes.

my second alarm went off, so i actually got up. i made my bed, then went into my bathroom to shower. after waking myself up with the cold water, i got out and got ready for the day.

it was a bit colder than usual that day, so I put on high waisted jeans and a cropped sweater. after brushing my teeth and throwing my hair into a messy bun, i went and did my regular makeup look, then put on my white vans.

oli came knocking on my door as i was grabbing my phone and my keys.

"you ready for the big day?" heasked.

"i think so." i shrugged. i tried not thinking about what i had to do later that morning so i wouldn't get nervous and psych myself out.

"where's the enthusiasm?" he asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"i don't wanna freak myself out. so i'm just chill."

"mhm." he chuckled. "let's go. you're like fourth or fifth on the list."

i walked out of my dorm, locking the door behind me. oli and i quickly made our way to the auditorium.

"oliver, where have you been?" mrs. brown asked.

"sorry, i was running a bit late."

"it's alright. we just need to start soon."

"okay, i'm ready. bring in the first victim." he chuckled as i went and sat down in the section for the girls auditioning.

"first, will be auditions for the leads. ladies will be first, i trust you have all prepared the required song. after the ladies, the gentleman will audition with their song, and lastly will be the partnered audition. i have the list of partners with me, but just a reminder, it's important for an actor or an actress to be flexible wit who they work with."

after mrs. brown's never ending speech, the auditions started. the song was short, but it still took forever until my name was called. i looked over at oli and he discretely gave me a thumbs up. i went up onto the stage and stood on the x.

"whenever you're ready eliza," mrs. brown said.

"look at me
i will never pass for a perfect bride
or a perfect daughter
can it be i'm not meant to play this part
now i see
that if i were truly to be myself, i would break my family's heart
who is that girl i see
staring straight, back at me
why is my reflection someone i don't know
somehow i cannot hide
who i am
though i've tried
when will my reflection show who i am inside
when will my reflection show who i am inside."

a few people clapped, like they had for the others. I stood and waited for mrs. brown's response. oli was smiling widely and it took a lot for me to keep a straight face.

"wonderful, thank you ms. frantzich." i nodded my head and walked off the stage, finally letting out a breath i'd been holding since i stopped singing.

i sat back down in my seat and took deep breathes. mrs. brown's opinion really mattered to me, and so did getting this part. i was so nervous for this.

***

"okay, quiet down everybody," mrs. brown  called. everyone got silent.

"oliver and i have created our cast list. i can either tell you now, or post it on the wall in the hallway."

"now please!" someone shouted. we all softly chuckled.

"very well. i'll start with our two leads. for the role of li shang, we have elliot williams. his understudy will be phineas jones. congratulations."

elliot was shy, but he was really talented. on stage you'd never know that he was shy or awkward. it was like he was a completely different person.

"now for our leading lady. for the role of fa mulan , we have selected poppy wilson. her understudy will be eliza frantzich. congratulations." my heart sank.

understudy? i wouldn't even be on stage! of course i was happy for poppy, she deserved to be mulan just as much as oli said i did. i just wish that i had the lead.

after mrs. brown  finished with the cast list, we were all given our scripts. our homework tonight would be to run our lines with someone else. oli and i absentmindedly partnered up.

"i'm so sorry liza," oli said as we walked to a sub shop down the street from the campus.

"no, don't be sorry. poppy deserves to be mulan. and it's not like i'm kicked out of the program."

"yes, but we were both so excited for you! and i was all for you being mulan. my grandma was stuck in the middle with you two. she said she might make a switch halfway through, she hasn't made up her mind."

"wait, what?"

"you and poppy are equally talented in my grandma's eyes. she chose poppy because she has more experience, but if during rehearsals you show her that you have all the experience you need, she might switch you two."

"oh my gosh."

"you just gotta work your ass off."

"i definitely will. but i feel like poppy should know this, too. just so she's not like blindsided."

"i'll talk to her tomorrow."

"okay great. now let's eat, all these nerves made me starving."

we walked into the small sub shop we always come to and ordered our usual sandwiches.

"so how late were you up last night?" oli randomly asked.

"what?" i asked obliviously.

"oh come on liza. i may have met you less than two months ago, but i've gotten to know you well enough to know that you were thinking about zach after that text last night." i glanced down at the table, then back up at oli.

"i didn't want to think about him," i explained.

"but you were."

"i can't help it. i loved him."

"loved or love?"

"oli." i glared at him.

"i'm sorry, i just don't want you to make the wrong choice."

"what do you mean choice? there is no choice. i'm here, i'm focusing on my work."

"there's always a choice. but anyway, don't let it stress you out too much. but also don't second guess yourself and say things you don't mean. just stay calm, cool, and collected."

"you make it sound so easy," i tapped on the table.

"it is if you have self control." i playfully glared at him.

we had to get back to campus for afternoon rehearsals, so we packed up our stuff and left. i was still nervous, because my part wasn't set in stone. poppy was great, but i was determined to get the lead role and i am not giving up.

****

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