Chapter 35- cold and fake

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              As I went over some things, he nodded a lot and gave "mhm"s, but they were really just a cover up. Sometimes he would hold his head up in his hands and look at me, instead of looking at the paper. Or he'd lean towards me, his arm touching mine or he'd rest his head against mine, and adorable things like that, which still made my heart beat so fast. The only difference was that I couldn't show it anymore.

             He now had his head laid on the desk on top of his arm, staring at me. I looked down at him and sighed.

             "You're not really focused are you?"

            He smiles cutely. "It's hard to." And I almost blush.

            I give him a serious look. "Seriously, pay attention."

           He sighs, giving in. "Ok then."

            He doesn't mess around too much while I'm explaining things, and we actually get some work done. Eventually we decided it was too cramped on my desk so we moved to sit on my bed, and he was diagonal from me.

           I have him some practice problems for math, and as he was working he stretched his legs, putting his feet in my lap. I move them off. He giggled faintly and moved them back, wiggling them a little. I move them again and get up, going to sit in my chair again.

             "Finish your problems." I say, and he gives me a kind of confused look, probably wondering why I was being so serious, and continues without saying anything.

             After an hour and a half, we finish everything I had planned for today and he happily flops on my bed with a wide smile and closed eyes, his arms and legs stretched out. "Done!" He exclaims happily.

            "You're messing up my bed," I whine.

          "I am?" He asks, with a faint grin while he starts making snow angles on my blanket to wrinkle it further. "I'm sorry I didn't realize." I sigh and walk over, grabbing both his hands and pulling him to a sitting position.

             "You should head home." I say, letting go of him. He furrowed his eyebrows and made a pouty face.

             "You're kicking me out this early?"

             I sit on the other side of the bed. "I'm kind of tired."

             "But I didn't even ask many questions today." He insists. I feel a sharp pant of guilt, making me feel something in my stomach that I didn't like. When I don't reply, he glares at me.

             "If you're making me leave just to invite Hoseok over you're dead." He warns. I crack a smile.

             "Hobi isn't a good person to have around when I'm tired either, so don't worry about that."

               I walk him to the door and he swings his backpack over his shoulder. He side hugs me while he says bye, but I don't hug back. I just smile and wave as he walks out, then close the door. The second I do the smile fades, and my chest hurts.

               This is how it'll have to be from now on then.

Cold and fake.

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JUNG HOSEOK'S POV

               Things have been changing and I hate it.

             This morning I laid in my bed, thinking back to early in the school year, when Ji-won and I would sleep over and be around each other practically all the time, when over the summer we would face time for entire days while we were in separate vacations, how we would cuddle and binge watch shows, insult each other, argue and get over it right after, cry together, get emotional, rant, sit in silence and laugh so much.

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