MerAdd Oneshots

I still love you

It's been too long without an update. I'm back and I'm better than ever, enjoy!

She was beautiful. From the moment I laid eyes on her, I loved her. I loved her then, I love her now, and I was convinced I'd love her forever.

Her hand weaved delicately through my own, her fingers gently playing with mine, and a soft smile graces her lips. I find myself twirling the ring on her finger, the one I'd put there after asking her to be my wife. I smile too, and when I look over my eyes meet hers.

"I love you, you know" she says, a silly smirk on her face "more than anything. I don't know how I ever got along without you"

"Difficulty, and you probably burnt a lot of frozen pizzas" I joke, bringing up her inability to cook; something I teased her for constantly, but loved her for anyway.

"That was one time" she rolls her eyes playfully. "You're supposed to say you love me too, ya know. That's how this works"

I laugh "I'm well aware"

"Let's try this again then, shall we?" She leans forward, her hair fanning around her face as her eyes twinkle in the light. "Meredith, I love you"

"I love you too, Tess"

~

I met Contessa Martinez at a bar, late one Saturday night. I was in a rough place, a place where I didn't think I'd ever be happy again, and somehow, someway, she seemed to make it a little better. We clicked immediately, and within the month we were exclusively dating; it was something I'd never expected.

We told each other everything; from the very beginning, we made it essential to always talk about our feelings, our hopes, our dreams, what made us happy, what made us angry. When I met her, a hole consumed me and I didn't know how to fill it. Gradually, over time, she made me forget about the hole.

But I knew, as long as I lived and as long as I breathed, the hole would always be there.

The hole, if anything, sometimes grew. Tess made the world brighter, she was happy and joyful and bubbly; so, when I lied to her, it broke my heart. Every time I told her a lie, the hole grew and I knew eventually I wouldn't be able to patch it up. Eventually, I would be nothing but emptiness.

I lied to Tess every single October third, on what was a birthday. I lie to her on every August sixth, on what used to be an anniversary. When she asks me why I'm upset, why I'm depressed, why I'm drinking more than normal, I lie and say I'm tired or I had a bad day. I couldn't tell her the truth; I couldn't tell her this piece of my past.

It felt too personal, and on some weird level, telling her would've made it more real. Telling her what had ended before we'd begun would've made it too real for me to bear.

So, as I stood in front of Oceanside wellness clinic in Los Angeles, I was intent on fixing the hole. Tess and I were due to be married in eight months; we had everything planned to the T, and I just had to do this one little thing to make sure everything went as planned.

Taking in a shaky breath, I made my way to the elevators inside and pressed the appropriate floor number. I shook, and as I tried to talk myself down, I found it rather difficult. It'd been three years since I'd seen her, three years since I'd held her hand or seen her smile. Three years since I'd seen...

"Doctor Addison Montgomery" I say to the receptionist "I made an appointment"

"Exam room three is open, I'll have our nurse show you over there"

~

Addie and I got married my first year of residency; strange to think that now, eight years later, I was the head of general surgery. We'd been married for five years, five short years that ended in just five even shorter minutes. A shouting match, a slamming door, and a bottle of wine was all it took for my entire world to crumble around me.