Reasons - m.c

Chapter 4

I Need to Be Here

Michael's P.O.V

After the blow up with Shay, I tried to forget about her.

But I couldn't.

How could someone who barely knew me be so rude to me? She was telling me to get my life together yet she didn't know anything about me. I did have my life together.

I was bored again, all alone in my house, so I went back into town & went to a restaurant that I could get wifi at to again check what was happening online.

I googled my name & there was a video in the top search results.

The title of the video was called 'We Miss Mikey' so I figured fans talking about how they missed me not being in Sydney with the other three but once I read it, I was wrong, so so so wrong. The post was just a string of people talking, like everyone sent in a message & someone combined them all.

Like I said, I was so wrong. This was a video about fans missing me but it wasn't me being away from Sydney they were missing, it was the Michael I used to be that they were missing.

'I don't know where Michael is & don't really care to be honest. He's kind of ruining the band. I hate to admit it since I'm such a fan but Michael isn't acting how 5sos should.'

'It sickens me to think that 5sos might be better without Mikey. Like admitting this out loud right now is killing me but Luke, Ash & Calum may be better without him.'

'I miss the old Mikey. I miss the one who'd dye is hair funny colors & make strange comments in interviews or jokingly pick on Luke. I miss that person..'

'Does Michael have to literally brag in his fans faces that he's banging girls all of the time? I feel bad for them. They aren't special to Michael, just another number on his list.'

'Fame got to Michael's head. I knew that hair dye was bad for him.'

'How can we bring back Mikey? I miss him. He isn't the same guy I feel in love with back in 2012.'

'I'll be there to the moon...but I miss Mikey.'

'I can't look at 5sos the same knowing that they aren't four best friends anymore. The tension between the three & Michael is so clear, it's hard to watch their interviews or concert footage.'

'I just watched the Wherever you Are video & cried. I miss that Michael.'

'I feel like he doesn't care about the 5sosfam anymore.'

'Reading all of these comments from fans about Michael are making me upset...we're all a family so I know we're behind Michael no matter what he's going through but nothing would make me happier to have dorky Michael return, the one who literally showed his dick out their tour bus window, the one who would record a song naked, the one who would literally own the stage with his guitar & vocals. His dream came true & I'm afraid it will end soon because of how he's acting.'

I felt numb once I had finished watching.

It took everything in me to admit that the fans were right. They were right.

I was so far from the Michael that started this band. I was so unaware that my actions were causing us to lose fans, that people actually didn't like me & wanted me out of the band. That broke my heart. I really had messed up.

Everything that Shay said was true. She may not have known me that well but she was right.

My band mates sent me here for a reason. I think I do need to be here. I'm not sure what I need to do while here but I think I need to be here.