✔︎ | Part of Me (Trilogy)

8 | christmas eve

"Hi," I whisper, "I'll get out of here." 

"Uh, no," he says softly, entering the room and closing the door behind him. "Jem fell asleep like right away," he chuckles, "so I brought her up to bed." He shifts, staring down at his feet. "Um," he mumbles, like he's trying to choose his words carefully. He gives up and just pulls an envelope out of his pocket and hands it to me. 

I look at the envelope and back up at Axel's face, and he shrugs, smiling a little. "I got this for you thinking you'd come back to Seattle with me," he says, and nods to the envelope. I start opening it as he adds, "I still want you to have it. In case you decide you still want to come."

I frown with pity, and start to say, "Axel, I can't." 

He shakes his head. "It's fine. Use it when you get your own apartment then." 

I pull out a gift card for Wayfair.ca, and glance as Axel steps closer. "How much is on here?" I ask. 

"A thousand bucks," he says, and explains, "I just moved, right, and I thought if you came back with me you'd like to decorate the place. I don't really know anything about home decor," he chuckles, scratching the back of his neck. "I'll figure it out," he nods, "but I still want you to have that." 

I gasp, "Axel, I can't except this." 

He comes even closer and stands right in front of me. "I want you to have it," he says. "Your family has done so much for me, and I know taking Jem in and helping me out with school doesn't help your parents' finances very much. I paid back everything they gave me for school but they won't let me help out with Jem." Axel shrugs, "so please just take it."

I sigh. "You don't need it to get stuff for your place?" 

He shrugs. "I have a couch and a bed already. What more do I need?"

I laugh. "I hope you're joking." 

"Well," he mumbles, smiling down at me, "and a dog." 

I frown. "Are you serious? You don't have anything? A toaster? A table? Pots? Pans?"

Axel laughs. "I like, just got the apartment. I'm sure over time I'll accumulate some of those things when I get tired of eating takeout on my sofa." 

I cringe. "Oh, God," and reach out to touch his arm. I shouldn't have done it because he flinches, but I can't seem to let him out of my touch. I add, "you know if you ask my Dad to help you set up the place, I'm sure he and Will could go to Seattle for a week and help you out. Make the place feel like home. He's good with those things." 

Axel looks down at me and smiles sadly, "I was hoping I'd have you for that." 

I sigh and stare at the floor, and drop my arm. 

We stand almost chest to chest in silence until Axel whispers, "I'm leaving tomorrow." 

My eyes flicker to his in horror. "What?" I gasp. "You said you were here a week? Tomorrow's Christmas! Does Jem know? I thought you'd want to visit with her longer? Why are you going so early?" 

He nods. "Well, I'm going tomorrow night, so I'll be here most of the day," he says. "Luci needs surgery so if I leave tomorrow I'll be there when he wakes up." 

I feel like crying. I don't want him to go, but I have no right to be upset, because I'm choosing not to go with him. I just nod instead, my lips pressed tightly together, and stare at the ground. I love him. Still. I love him so goddamn much. 

"I'll tell Jem tomorrow," he says, "I'm going to try to get your parents to let her come up March break because I don't have anywhere for her to stay. But I have to go," he tells me, "Luci's like a son to me," he laughs and shakes his head, and acknowledges, "I know he's a dog, but he's been through so much and I love him and I want him to know that I'm going to take care of him." 

I smile a little. "He's lucky." 

Axel nods. "It's probably best I go earlier anyway. It's not easy being here. Not like this."

I look away, "it's not easy for me either." 

Axel gazes at me, almost like he's going to beg me to come again, but he backs away and sighs, "I can sleep on the couch if you want." 

I shake my head. "Oh my God, just take my bed."

Axel laughs. "Fine." 

I mumble a quick "goodnight" and brush past him and go downstairs, where Mom and Dad have turned off the movie and gone to bed too. I crawl onto the couch and under the blankets, cuddling into the cushions. 

My phone buzzes underneath me minutes later. It's from an unrecognized number, but when I open the messages, they read:

I got a new phone recently

it's Axel btw

if you change your mind at any point in time, even if I'm halfway back to Seattle tomorrow night, just tell me. I will turn around and come get you. My offer still stands. Please think about it.

・・・

IMPORTANT

Okay guys, I love Wattpad but I've been offered to publish Part Of Me on FicFun and actually receive payment for it, but that would mean that once Part Of Me is completed, I'd have to delete everything except for the first 5 chapters on Wattpad, so I was wondering, would you go read it on there? You will have completed the book already, but I will be editing and updating it a little if I do accept the offer, so it'd be a little different. 

Part Of Me has been getting more reads and more of you lovely readers have found this book, but I've been publishing on Wattpad for a while and I haven't gotten super far, other than improving my writing, while other books and authors are receiving rewards etc. 

I don't know, I kind of want to get paid but I more importantly want to keep you guys with me so if that means just leaving POM on Wattpad, I will do that. 

but let me know what you think 

- would you reread an edited version of Part of Me on FicFun?

- would you recommend Part of Me to other readers? 

love you always

—Adi