✔︎ | Part of Me (Trilogy)

1 | hell to pay

1 | hell to pay

I'm going to fucking kill him

How can you tell if you're in love? I'm asking for a friend. 

Sitting on the couch with my laptop propped open, I waste my Friday night completing quizzes that are supposed to tell me whether or not I'm in love. I'm wondering how the hell my favourite colour and where I want to vacation next will explain the way I'm feeling, and yet, I keep doing the quizzes, and I keep getting results like "Congrats! You're 79% in love." 

I groan. Whatever this feeling is, it sure feels like a lot more than 79%. 

Will and Jem are watching a movie when I wander downstairs at around eight. Mom and Dad are out on a date and Jemmy waves at me without looking away from the screen. I'm practically invisible, but it's kind of a good thing. I need to get out. 

Tanner messaged me earlier saying we needed to talk too. Honestly, I can't tell if I miss him or not, but I agreed, just to see. 

He's walking up the sidewalk when I step out of the house in a light jacket. 

I smile awkwardly and he holds his arms out for a hug, but being me, I freak out and hold out my hand instead. He looks at it for a second and back up at my face, and I bite my lip nervously. I don't really know what I'm doing anymore. 

"Do you wanna go for a walk or talk in your house?" He asks then. 

"Um," I stumble for words, gazing back at the light coming from the kitchen window. "Will and Jasmine are watching a movie, so, um—"

"Ah, I forgot," he shoves his hands into his jean pockets. He means about Jem. He forgot Axel's sister is now my foster sister. "And Axel?" He inquires, trying not to seem too upset about the situation. Yeah, he still hates him. Probably even more. "Is he living here too?"

We walk down the street; the sun has almost set as it creates a warm glow in the March sky. 

I shake my head. "He got his own place. I don't know. I don't talk to him." 

"Really?" Tanner seems surprised. 

I'm confused. "Uh?"

"I thought you guys were best friends," he laughs, a little too insincerely. 

I glance up at him, his brows furrowed in distress as we walk down the street. I grunt. "What? He's friends with my brother."

"Okay," he murmurs, "I just know he's spreading shit about me again." 

God, I'm so done. "What the hell does that have to do with me?" 

"It was about you and I, Avi!" He hollers suddenly, grabbing my arm to keep me from walking on. I pull it back angrily and step away, fear rising in my stomach. The glare in his eyes is absolutely terrifying. I don't want to be around him anymore. "It was about the night you and I were together at the party," he goes on, stepping closer. I can hardly move to back up. "He's telling people that I tried to rape you!" He laughs in disbelief. "What the fucking hell? Did you tell him that? Because you were throwing yourself at me."