- Noni -
" Mommy!!" Sophia squealed running and hugging my knees once Vanessa put her down. I smiled leaning down picking her up to rest on my hip.
" Hey princess...did you have fun at aunty Nessa's house?" i asked moving the little baby hair out her face.
" Mhmm!!..She braided my hair see" she smiled trying to turn and show me the two braids going back.
" Ooh so cute..." i smiled kissing her forehead. She giggled holding onto her little babydoll.
" Is daddy home?" she asked looking up at me and i nodded setting her down.
" He's right in the living room...go wake him up" i said opening the door for her.
she smiled holding her little backpack on her shoulder so it didn't fall while she ran inside to her father.
Jack...
Jack slept on the couch last night...i don't know if it was on purpose but i was really hurt about it last night. I could hardly getting any sleep because i was so uncomfortable...those were my nights without him in the bed with me...it all felt the same and i just felt sick to my stomach...I Wanted to cry my eyes out...i felt like i had to throw up...Those marks were from that little time period where we was staying somewhere else while i was here with Sophia...i was stressed out and overwhelmed...i wasn't ok...i didn't know what to do...I was so tempted to...to end it all but Sophia's little face kept popping in my head...i knew i couldn't leave her...my little baby...so i just thought the quick pain of the blade would help me cope...and it kinda did...I was just scared...scared that Jack was gonna hurt me again...i had no idea and it was breaking me inside...
" Hey...everything okay?...usually you'd be glowing after what you guys planned last night" Vanessa chuckled but i was far from amused. " Oh...Oh no...what happened?" she asked sighing.
" Jack and i just...we got distracted and decided not to do any of that" i shrugged knowing my excuse was dead.
" Victoria what happened?...you can tell me" she said moving hair behind my ear. I sighed blinking back tears.
" H-He saw my cuts...he slept on the couch last night...I feel like shit right now Vanessa...I-I though we were going great but it's all coming back...I-I don't know what to do" i broke down covering my face.
" Hey...Hey!...stop it...you guys are fine baby...This is just one final little bump test for you to know if you truly wanna get married...You wanna get married right?" she asked and i immediately nodded.
" Let me paraphrase that...You wanna get married to Jack right?" she asked holding my cheek and i nodded wiping my cheeks.
" Yes...Of course i do...he's the one...he's the love of my life...i don't see myself with anyone but him...He makes me feel so special when we're on good terms and he's an amazing father to our baby girl...He makes me so happy...These stupid arguments and problems just keep popping up and it's stressing me out" i sniffled combing a hand through my hair.
" Talk...you guys are horrendous at communicating it's disgusting...you both are so scared of hurting each other when you don't realize that by pushing each other away it's hurting you both because you clearly love each other so very much...you guys don't need sex nights...you need a private date night...just you two...like you used to...Alone time" she said rubbing my arm. I sighed nodding.
" We do...i'm gonna go talk to jack about it...this needs to stop..." i shook my heas. Vanessa nodded kissing my cheek.
" If you need a babysitter just call me okay?" she said waving before getting in her car driving off.
I let out a breathe turning and walking back into the house. once the door closed behind me i locked it and made my way towards the two loves of my life in the kitchen.
" Mommy!..." Sophia smiled wide. I smiled walking over playing with her little hands.
" Hey baby" i smiled kissing her palm.
I looked up at jack and sweetly smiked when he was doing the same.
" I love you" i said softly caressing his cheek.
" I love you more...we'll talk later" he said kissing my forehead then my lips.
" k"
+
" Ok...Sophia is fast asleep...can we talk now?" Jack asked crawling over to me on the bed laying his head on my lap.
Jack's always been the quiet/ sensitive partner in our relationship. We're both quiet laid back people but he's the cuddly type...He always wants to be all up under me and kissing me...
" Do you wanna speak or do you want me to?"
" You...i think you're perfect...you do nothing wrong...it's always me causing the problems abd making you upset so i wanna hear how you feel...a-and how we can fix us because i don't wanna give up...i can't give up on you o-on the love of my life" he said kissing my sweater covered belly.
I gave him a closed mouth side smile running my fingers through his soft post-shower hair.
" Can we talk about you leaving first?...like the break you took from us...i said i was okay with that but i really wasn't...it was breaking me...I-" i stopped and took a deep breath closing my eyes to keep from crying. " That time period w-where you were off sleeping somewhere else in someone's home that wasn't ours...it killed me...i trust you i promise i do it's just...y-you turn into a whole different person when you're drunk and i don't know if you were out partying or something and you could have been...You're a amazingly attractive guy that any girl would want because you're also a sweetheart and very...mesmerizing...You could've been with some girl and i wouldn't know...i didn't know...and it killed me inside...i was also stressed with Sophie wanting you yo come back and her crying because you wouldn't answer the phone because you were busy...She's three so she's learning to realize things and not just her abc's...She asked me once why was i crying and why do you make me cry...i couldn't answer that for her or for anyone because i have no idea myself...Sometimes i wanna just lay up in your arms and be held by you but something always comes up or one of is gets upset with the other and instead of talking...we ignore each other...for days and days...it hurts...i-it really hurts" i sniffled fixing my glasses.
" Baby..." i looked down but was listening
Jack grabbed my hands in his, lightly kissing my palm
" I got you"
