It's the End of the World

Chapter 1

The days before destroying the Institute were great. I was surrounded by friends, I had their support in my plans, and they would do anything for me. After the explosion, however, things went downhill before you could say 'nuclear annihilation'. After losing Deacon, I lost myself. And I ended up doing things I never thought I would do.

...

He couldn't be dead. He couldn't. He was- is too smart for that. That charismatic pair of sunglasses could talk his way out of anything, and I am sure that includes death. Pushing my way through the small army, I made it off of the roof and back onto the ground. I raced back to Sanctuary to get away from the crowd of people that wanted to drink and celebrate the victory. Celebrating was the last thing I wanted to do. Drinking however, that sounded appealing at the moment. But that would have to wait. I knew if there was anywhere Deacon would be waiting for me, it would be at the top of the hill. 

I reached the look out and sat in the empty chair. He wasn't here. Not since last time, when we came out here. There was still a bottle of alcohol there from when Deacon and I had a night out only a few days ago. I picked it up and tossed away the stopper. It wouldn't need it by the time I was done with it. I downed the bottle and watched the sky darken. The liquid caused my throat to burn, almost as bad as the pain in my chest. I fell asleep in the chair, still holding the bottle.

...

I woke up to a very concerned Piper shaking me awake. I hiccuped slightly and rubbed my face.

"I'm awake! What is it? What is so important?"

Piper stopped and crouched so she was eye level with me.

"I'm worried about you, Blue. We all are."

"What's wrong?"

I stumbled over my words slightly, sounding more like a mumble.

"It's been a month since the Institute, and all you have done is find the bottom of way too many bottles. And obsess over finding someone who, unfortunately, is not here anymore. You need help, and I think I know how."

"Hmmmm? How?"

I leaned back in the flimsy chair and closed my eyes.

I had spent the previous two weeks searching the Commonwealth, asking everyone I could for any information they might have. The problem is, no one even knows about him. Maybe he really was a good spy. 

Long story short, that didn't pan out well. My friends insisted on seeking me out to try to bring me back to Sanctuary. They were insistent on the fact that Deacon was really gone.

Piper told me I was in denial, that this was not normal for people to feel this way for this long. I vaguely remember my response being something along the lines of asking if it was normal for boyfriends to be blown up in a nuclear bomb because they couldn't get teleported out in time. I'm pretty sure she didn't have an answer for me. I wasn't listening though. And I may have had a few too many bottles of whiskey or vodka or whatever I found.

"I just need more time to figure out my next steps, Piper. That's all."

"Maybe you need to figure out out to move on. There's things you can do to remember Deacon by."

I nodded a bit.

"Yeah. Maybe."

I thought for a few minutes, going over the events of the past few weeks in my head. 

"I need to start over. From scratch. I'm leaving tonight. Don't try to stop me, and I don't want any of you with me."

Piper stood up and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Blue, you can't go alone."

"I never said I would be alone."

I pushed her away and gathered my belongings. Without looking back, I walked away from the place that I once called home.