Intimate Refraction [Ouran Host Club Kyoya]

Old Fear New People

The warm hand resting low on my back was calming, the occasional hum from my dance partner kept a smile on my face. It was perfect, everything with him almost always seemed perfect.

In an ideal world that's how my night would've ended, disregarding the raised eye brows from our lack of partner switching or how close I stood to him with his hand low on my back. Kyoya and I would've danced the night away mindless, moving in time until the orchestra was finally dismissed, and even then we would continue with our own imaginary tune playing.

But the world we live in isn't perfect, it isn't ideal, and we don't always get what we want.

She had caught my eye, my mother. With crossed arms and a cemented blank expression she had stared me down from the edge of the dance floor. Whatever time Mr.Suoh had bought me had finally ran out, I couldn't avoid it any longer.

With smile dropping reluctance I came to a halt. Being Kyoya he was quick to figure out what had caused my sudden mood change, he was not very pleased it seemed. My friend wasn't exactly an open book, but he still had emotions, everyone does. The way his posture grew a bit stiffer, his eye brows scrunching a smidge, a tug of a frown by just a millimeter, and of course his grip tightening onto me.

Kyoya Ootori was not very happy.

"Call me if you need me."

"Right," I managed to acknowledge him, but not fully. My brain was already beginning to stir up my earlier repressed emotions, my heart spazzing out as fear surged into my blood stream.

"Aki."

When I said nothing, did nothing, a hand moved itself from my waist to cup my cheek. With a bit of force my head was pried upwards, with no other option I had to meet his hardened eyes.

"If you need me you are to call me without hesitation. I don't make promises lightly and I never break them, if you need me I will come, understood?"

A slight hitch in my throat acted as my agreement, words didn't seem to be something I could pronounce right now.

Dread, that's all I was feeling. Unavoidable, crushing dread that squeezing my throat and chest. No matter how much I didn't want to see her, be near her, to have to go with her, I had no choice. It was inevitable and something that I couldn't stop from happening.

It was clear it was hesitant, but somehow I found the courage to take a step back. It was tiny, barely a baby step, but I still got myself to do it. I was stepping away from my safety blanket, away from Kyoya.

With reluctance he let me, he himself shifted his weight backwards from me. A small gap had formed between us.

"Akari, come."

That voice had my hands trembling, cold, it was so cold.

Tightly my muscles began to constrict themselves in my hands, I had no choice as they curled into shaking fists. Bile was beginning to turn over in my stomach again, a dull ring in my ears forming.

Lifelessly I turned around and did as ordered.

Immediately I was told to go to the car, with one last look over my shoulder at Kyoya I complied and left.

The car ride I have no memory of. Mentally I had already began to shut myself down, retreating far back into my mind in an attempt to protect myself. Everything took on a surreal appearance as I was half dragged into one of our hotels.

Anger fueled screams became like a deaf fuzz in my ears. It didn't seem real right now, how she was detonating in front of me, screaming abusive words without hesitation. If I was lucky I wouldn't retain it, if I just stayed like this floating outside of my body then I'll be ok.