How to Find Purpose and Peace: Why Am I Here?

CHAPTER SIXTEEN : Love

Right now I'm kind of going through a crisis but when I was at church last night my friend came up out of nowhere and asked if I needed a new place to move into. The answer was yes, I was eventually having to move and I was kind of stressed out about it. Sure enough my friend introduced me to the new place he mentioned and it looks like things are in motion for me to live there. God saw my need and helped me out. When we put God first, He is our fiercest Ally and will fight for us and work things out for us. Your love life included! Ah. The age-old quest for true love. I think innately deep down in all of us we earnestly desire to be unconditionally loved.

There is something within as humans that yearns for someone to truly understand us and treasure us. We are social creatures. We need to be around other people. We need our family, friends and other people to do life with; and then there is romantic love. Remember like in middle school when we were all socially awkward (or at least i was), and people would pass around a note saying do you like me? Check yes or no. That didn't really happen to me, but according to the movies things like this happened. As young people we eventually start feeling the immense societal and sometimes familial pressure to fall in love and get married. There is the pressure to get a "ring by spring." I think young women especially feel this pressure to fall in love and get married. Studies show that if we are on social media for too long it actually depresses us and makes us unhappy. I definitely get bummed out on Facebook when I see so many people getting engaged, married, or having babies. I'm like that's cool, well, you know what I did today? I ate a block of cheese. And a binge-watched The Office. Sometimes I actually need to disconnect and stay off of social media for my own sanity's sake.

First off I just want to say don't give up, stay strong and keep up the fight. You will find true love one day, and most people end up getting married someday statistically. If you're single right now it's not the end of the world. I know it can be weird third-wheeling and having your friends disappear on you once they enter relationships. You're not going to be single forever so don't sweat it. If time drags on and you're still single maybe one of your friends would know someone who would be a good match for you. I think I'm a pretty solid wingman as well if the need should ever arise. But that can be a great way to meet someone special, just throw out a couple of feelers to your friends, family, co-workers that you're on the market, and if they know of any good matches they can set it up. It gets harder (at least for me) once you finish college, and just work all the freaking time. Some people try dating coworkers, I never have because I think it's a bad idea for a number of reasons, but for some people it works.

You have so much value and worth! Don't settle! You should be with somebody who truly loves you and values you as a person. You should also make sure that both of you are compatible. Do you guys have similar values and standards? Like for me, I'm looking for someone who shares my Christian faith and has similar beliefs as me. This is so important because you could possibly one day be marrying and having kids with this person! I don't think anyone thinks they are going to get divorced when they marry, but ensuring you both are compatible and have similar beliefs definitely limits that possibility.

I think romantic love is great and all but I think there is sort of danger to people who become obsessed with finding the One. Granted it can take some work, but when it becomes your sole purpose for being and the only thing you care about then that could be a problem. I think if you find someone and fall in love, yeah go ahead and get married life is short. But if it doesn't look like there are any prospects on the horizon don't let it get you down. I think people try to find happiness in a lot of ways. I think we all have a void inside of us we are trying to fill, and we are trying to find completion and wholeness. Many people try to do this with romantic relationships, love, and sex. Those things are great but they on their own cannot make you happy. No one will ever "complete" you, and it's a mistake to depend on someone else for your happiness. Only God can truly fill our hearts and make us happy. Once we have that down and are in a loving relationship with God we can go from there. Your mindset changes. You are no longer looking for a spouse to complete you, but to enrich your already happy life (happy because of God). You're now looking for a longtime friend and partner to spend life with, instead of a codependent unhealthy relationship that is ultimately unfulfilling. I think God will bless that as well, once we place Him first in our lives He makes other things work out for our benefit.

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33 (KJV). God wants you to have a great marriage! And this might be kind of weird to say, but He wants you to have an awesome sex life as well! Both marriage and sex were His ideas after all. He just wanted us to only be intimate with the one we marry because He knows how powerful sex is, that's why He gave us guidelines to protect us from ourselves, and prevent us from hurting each other. What could be more beautiful and passionate than two people madly in love being intimate for the first time on their wedding night? Becoming one not only in body, but mind and soul as well! So when you have a chance give a shout-out to God for creating something as awesome as marriage. And sex. ;)

Key Takeaways:

-You will find love one day! Most

people end up getting married.

-You have great worth, don't settle!

-No one can make you fully happy

except God.

-God wants you to have a great

marriage.