Diary Of A Suicidal Teenager [first draft] ON HOLD

Emotional Highs and Lows

I climbed the doors that lead to the door alone. Hating this place would be an understatement, but this place is so insufferable I can't stand it. I mean I shouldn't be judgemental but this place looks trampy. I don't just mean the inside, I mean the outside. The windows were clogged up full of dirt, they seriously needed washing. I've noticed that there is some bricks missing. Inside the paint is chipped and peeling away, I've noticed loads of stains on the dusty floor. I can't believe I had to call this place home for 7 months. I knew this place like the back of my hand. When you open the front door the reception is to your left. That's where I had to go so they could call my psychiatrist and let him know I'm here. When I told then my name they told me to take a seat and my psychiatrist would come get me. I waited 15 minutes, long boring 15 minutes. I thought about my appointment, sure enough I've seen a psychiatrist before but she had to go on maternity leave and I've only met my new psychiatrist once. He was bald, and his head was unbelievably shiny. His skin was all wrinkly and he looked like he's suffered and recovered from a drug addiction. I didn't like him. I never gave him much of a chance to like him either but I can't stand to be in the same room.

I watched the minutes hand on the clock turn, the ticking was going inside my head driving me insane. It got to the point where I stood on the chair ad picked up the clock of the wall and smashed it of the ground. All eyes were on me. I stared at my feet as the receptionist came round to the waiting area to see what was going on. My heart was hammering against my chest, I was so nervous and I'm in serious trouble. I heard a familiar voice call out my name before the receptionist would ask who smashed it. Lee Lee strides over to me, a cheeky grin plastering his face.

"Let me guess, Mel the clock was you?"Lee Lee laughed.

"I wouldn't do such a thing" I sniggered.

"Last night was good"

"Yeah it was"

"Dan hasn't shut up about you"

"Oh"

"Yeah he wants to ask you out, but he isn't your type is?"

"I could give him a chance"

"Might as well, how long you been waiting for?"

"Half an hour"

I seen him smile out of the corner of my eye and he got up and left me sat there confused. Where was he going now? I was sat there for an extra five minutes when Lee Lee came round the corner offering me the bottle of water and he started stuffing his face full of a packet of cheese and onion crisp. He didn't care that the crumbs started to fall down onto his clothes. This psychiatrist was taking forever now, already 15 minutes late. I was debating on whether or not I should leave now. I stood up and Lee Lee stood up to. I stared at him, was he going to start his annoying copying game right now because I'm seriously in a agitated mood. I opened my mouth to speak expecting him to copy my action except I was wrong. it was like he could read my mind, we both headed to the front door but someone stopped me by resting a hand on my shoulder. I froze in place. I hated people touching me whether that's just shaking hands or hugging someone. I slowly turned around and glared at the old man behind me. I knew who it was and right now I didn't care who he was. I couldn't control my anger before I felt my fist collide with his face. Next thing I know, people were surrounding me pulling me away from my psychiatrist. I could hear people shouting at me, asking my psychiatrist if he was alright and Lee Lee's laughter hurt my ears. That's all I remembered before I blacked out.

I don't know how long it was before I woke up again but my head hurt. The lights burned my eyes, even the clean white walls blinded me too. I got up and recognised where I was. My old room. Was I dreaming? Why was I here? I shouldn't be locked up in this cage, sure I acted like an animal but right now I felt insanely calm. Maybe that's why I am here, because of the insane part. I slowly got up ignoring the pains in my head. I needed some painkillers but I couldn't find any, anywhere. This whole room was empty. I headed towards the door and took a deep breath before enclosing my hand over the door handle and twisting it cautiously expecting someone scary outside my door. To my surprise though the door did open leading out into the unclean corridor. Cries filled my head of excruciating memories. I missed this place. Now I remember my true hatred for it.