I'm Not Leaving // lrh

7 || everything i didn't say

laurel canyon, hollywood hills
2:00am

A

When the Youngblood party came to its inevitable end, and we were all standing in the semi empty room amongst confetti and balloons, I grabbed my phone from my hand bag, checking Uber prices.

"Wait! No you're coming to the after party right?" Jesse whines, gripping onto my forearm.

"Dude! Ditching us now would be really bad form." Michael adds, having overheard Jesse's comment.

I open my mouth to protest.

I was fully ready to go back to Jesse's apartment and click around on Tinder to look for potential prospects to end this actually half decent night.

"But-"

"But what? You got a flight? Work in the morning? Uh, news flash. You don't. Not tonight." Michael says.

"You're still on New York time! The night is still young!" Ashton had joked.

I cannot argue with that logic. So I went.

We were all aching for a joint by then anyway. And there's no way in hell the bands' PR team would let them spark up at a release party full of press and journalists, all working on stories about how 5sos finally cleared up their image. Unfortunately, one little joint can ruin that.

So a bunch of their musician friends and producers and writers went back to the after party. The night had a light, playful aura in the air. Carefree. I wasn't worried about anything for the first time in, well, forever. I didn't care if the boys got too drunk because now I was getting just as drunk right along with them. And I wasn't worried about paparazzi catching them at a bad time because the party was totally private.

At first, I didn't know who's house it was.

The after party, everyone kept saying, the after party. The real party, they said.

"Amara do the thing, do the thing!" Calum encouraged when we were standing in the stylish living room surrounded by some of their musician friends.

He handed me a fresh beer, "What thing?"

"You know." Calum kicked his heel up, imitating me.

"Ooh! Yes Amara please do it! Do the thing!" Jesse chirps above the music.

"What thing?" Ryan the producer asks.

"It's actually cool. Trust me." Jesse promises.

"Oh! Heh, yeah okay." I agree, realizing that's why the beer bottle was still closed when Cal gave it to me.

I used to do it all the time. I'd use the back of my heel to hit the bottom of beer bottles, popping them open. One of my only party tricks.

I did it again in my strappy heel, making everyone cheer and then some of the beer spilled onto the carpet.

"Oh, jeez. Whoever's house this is I'm sorry." I groan, embarrassed and praying the owner of the house wasn't standing in this group.

"Ah, it's just Luke's house. He won't mind." Ashton said.

The words hit my ears like a gong that just went off. I couldn't hear anything else. Not the music or the party chatter.

Luke's house.

Oh my god, I kept thinking. This is Luke's house.

That's why they kept saying 'let's go to the after party.' Not 'let's go to Luke's house.' If I heard that, I wouldn't have stepped foot in the place.