I'm Not Leaving // lrh

3 || sucker punch

pauley pavillion, los angeles
2:30pm

A

I almost cried during Jesse's valedictorian speech.

Sneaky, that one. She didn't mention that part last night or in the days leading up to this trip. Probably because she knows I would've tried way harder in the gift department.

But all I could think of while she was up at the podium, in her cap and gown, was the red head in braces and headbands, hiking her plaid skirt up when the cute lacrosse players walked by. I just could not be prouder if I tried.

"...All of this to say, take the leap. None of us would be here in all our caps and all our gowns, if we didn't take that leap. Risks are always rewarded in beautiful memories or in lessons we will not soon forget..."

It only took her a year longer than me to finish college, because she took a year off and I started early. It came with her whole groupie thing.

Not just to Ashton, either. Oh no. But with Ashton came other musicians, and who doesn't love a red head? He saw other girls so she decided to see other guys. Guys that took her on trips, on tours, weekend getaways.

Nobody could get though college on time like that. Not even an overachiever like Jess.

Year off or not though, she sounded like a motivational speaker and genius up there. She's actually both of those in her free time.

I didn't sit with her family like she asked me to. I decided it'd be best to let them have their own private family moment after she crossed the stage.

Plus I'm not exactly in the headspace to talk to people from back home. I haven't had to do it in so long, I don't think I'd be able to keep the charade up during such a long ceremony.

And it took a long time for Jesse's family to accept a lot of her choices, but they're supportive now. She got into UCLA! Graduated top of her class! That's a big deal! It's not one of the Ivy's her parents originally hoped for, but it's what Jesse wanted that matters. It's a big deal that they're even here. I don't want to ruin their moment.

I walked over to their family of red heads. They were actually very easy to spot amongst all the graduates and their families. They're in the most expensive outfits.

I shrieked and Jesse shrieked, I got her the biggest bouquet of white roses I could find. They're her favorite. She was already holding a huge bouquet of various other flowers. From her family.

"Congratulations! I'm so fucking proud of you, Jess." I take her in for a hug as one of the younger boys takes photos with Jesse's phone.

"Ah! Really? How was the speech was it like awful?" Jesse asks, her expression changing from excited to worried in a matter of seconds.

"No! No it was amazing. Swear." I promise.

"Amara! Oh goodness! It's been so long dear, how are you?" Jesse's mom asks when she notices it's me.

Her face is forcing a smile. It's like she can't believe it's really me.

"Um, I'm well. Thank you!" I nod, nearly choking on my fake socialite voice.

I swear Jesse snickers in background because she knows exactly what I'm thinking and feeling. This is deeply uncomfortable.

"And how's your dad? Your mom I heard she's back-"

"They're good! They knew I'd be coming, they send their love." I say, my throat tightening.

"Hey, Amara." Jack said, the oldest of all of Jesse's siblings.