Deviant Diary (Detroit: Become Human)

Entry #4

Nov. 20, 2038
4:35 p.m.

*Connor logged in*

*Plastic Jesus logged in*

*Simon Says logged in*

Ok, we're here. Would you two now care to explain why I almost had to arrest North for attempted murder???

/We were just trying to have some fun, we never meant for it to go that far!/

I understand that, but I'd still like to know what the hell happened.

- Let me explain it, Markus. I technically did it. -

/But it was my idea..../

- Then jump in whenever you want, but I'm gonna go ahead and start. -

Please do...

- Ok, here we go. So, Markus and I were sitting in his office. We just finished a bunch of paperwork and phone calls, and we're starting to get bored. Markus mentioned how you were coming over soon, and that lead into the topic of North's prank on you. -

/I turned to Simon and said, "You know, North is always messing with us. Maybe we should mess with her for a change." He asked me what we could do, and I replied, "I don't know, maybe you could prank call her as Josh?"/

- I don't know why, but I was really excited by the idea of pranking North, so I said, "That's a good idea!"

/I honestly wasn't expecting him to say yes..../

So you... called her and pretended to be Josh? I thought her phone was broken?

- It was. I "called" her via connection. I'd never felt more giddy than I was in that moment, eagerly waiting for North to open her and of the connection. I remember glancing at Markus and giggling, "We're so stupid!" He just grinned at me. Finally, North picked up.

"Hello?" Her voice sounded groggy; she must've just come out of idle mode. Even better. I switched my voice to mimic Josh's, and I went for it.

"Hey, North? Some of the androids staying near you have started complaining about a lot of noise coming from your room. Do you think you could keep it down?"

"O-Oh.... Sorry, I didn't know I was making noise? I just woke up."

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

"No problem." Then she ended the connection. -

.......That's it?

/Heh, you wish... We waited about ten minutes, made sure she was still in her room, then Simon called her back. Looking back, I guess it felt like being little kids; we couldn't stop laughing. I almost had to leave the room!/

- It was great lol. But anyways, I called her back, and the moment she picked up, I just went off.

"Hello..?"

"HELLO, NORTH?! Obviously, you didn't get what I said about the noise! You. Need. To. Keep. It. Down!"

"But, I'm not making-"

"NORTH, LISTEN! Either you keep it down, or we're all gonna have a big problem."

"..........Ok. I'm sorry."

"Thank you." And before I ended the connection, I added this, "Dumb blonde."

Oh no.

- Oh yes!! Ohhhh, the look on Markus' face was priceless!!! -

/I couldn't believe he actually went there. Like, yeah it was hysterical, but still..../

- Oh, I swear to God, you would've thought the revolution happened allll over again! She was maaad! She came running up to the office and started pounding on the door screaming, "Fools, open the door!" -

/It really to all our concentration not to burst out laughing! We quickly changed our positions on the couch to look less suspicious. Then I unlocked the door for her./

- She came pacing into the room, eyes blazing with rage. I was just like, "What's up, girl?"

"You guys aren't gonna believe this..." She seemed to be on the verge of cackling hysterically, that's how mad she was. "Josh is an absolute asshat!"

"Really?!" I nearly wheezed, "What makes you say that????"

"He called me a minute ago.... He called me a f**king 'dumb blonde!'"

"So what are you gonna do about it?" I asked casually, fighting to hide my smile.

"Bitch, I'm gonna go shoot him!!!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a sec!" I immediatley sat up and leaned towards her. "Don't go shooting anybody! Maybe you just need to go talk to him!" -

/He turned to me saying, "Markus, tell her!" So I agreed: "Yeah, maybe you should just talk to him!" And then she just sneered and replied, "Fool, that's what I'm gonna do!"

She turned and left the room. I just looked at Simon, and said, "Dude, we have to see this!" So we followed her out to the elevator. But she got mad halfway there, and just took off running down the stairs. I tried calling after her, but that didn't work, so we just jumped in the elevator and went down./

Well, she made it to Josh about a minute before you did... I walked into the lobby of the building just in time to witness North burst through a side-door screaming, "Now where's the PJ500 that hates blondes?!?!"

She quickly spotted Josh, and rushed towards him. He looked terrified, and by the way she grabbed him, I felt that he was in danger... That's why I acted....

/Let me say, I was definitely not expecting to get off the elevator and see you pinning North to the ground with her arms behind her back as Josh cowered in fear./

Sorry....

/Oh no, it's fine. It was kinda funny actually./

- It was at that moment I realized I let it get too far, so I stepped in and tried to explain. She kept cutting me off and telling me to shut up because I "didn't know what was going on," so I knew there was only thing to do. -

I wondered why you grabbed her by the ear and screamed at her to keep the noise down using Josh's voice....

/The look on her face was hilarious. I couldn't hold the laughter in anymore when she called Simon an a**hole./

- Her expression when I smiled at her and asked, "But that was a funny prank, huh?" made it all worth it though. -

Are all pranks so friendship-endangering?!

/Nah, but the best ones usually are lol./

No offense, but you guys are a little crazy.

- It's because we're actually using our brains beyond doing work lol. Give it time and you'll be just like us! :D -

Oh dear......

*Connor logged off*

*Plastic Jesus logged off*

*Simon Says logged off*