luna. luke hemmings.

chapter forty three.

Luna | Happiness

I was alone, but Luke seemed confused about it, I watched as he glanced behind him and around the balcony. He was looking for Harley, he'd seen me with her only two minutes ago.

"Harley's in the bathroom," I said, "She'll probably be awhile. She'll get distracted by something, disappear and go dance with someone. It's okay though, there's always someone keeping an eye on her, whether it's Michael or Calum. She's lucky."

Luke slid down onto the wooden paneling of the balcony next to me and tilted his head back against the railing. "I think Calum is the last person she'll want to be watching her right now," he chuckled.

I shook my head, "she's head over heels for him, after another few drinks she would have completely forgotten about what just happened. I wouldn't be surprised if she already was." I sighed, and slipped my phone into my back pocket before brushing my hands over my thighs. "So, how's life?"

He just shrugged, a dull expression painted on his face. "I mean, it's been alright. Jack moved out, and I've been staying with him. Ya know, just getting away from home. It's been nice I guess." I nodded and after barely a second he added, "you?"

"I've been staying with Harley, it's been nice, but sometimes it's a bit much. Between her and Michael there's always something crazy going on and sometimes I just need some quiet time. It's hard being sad in a happy house." I sighed, twiddling my thumbs and screwing my face up. "There are days where I just want to burst into tears and cry for hours on an end with no interruptions and no one trying to calm me. But I can't, because someone's always around."

Luke's fingers brushed my knee before he lay his palm on my thigh. I don't know if he was aware that he'd done it or whether it had been an action purely out of habit.

"I can't imagine how tough it's been for you," he muttered, his head down as he faced the party beneath us. Calum was a key focus as he shouted from the top of his lungs and sloshed a half-drunken beer around. Luke only glimpsed at his best friend momentarily before turning to look at me; his blue eyes sad as he sighed. "I just wish I could have been there for you, that I could be there for you."

I stared at his fingers as they subconsciously traced a small patch across my thigh. As much as I wanted to be with Luke I could only continue to associate him with the guilt of losing my family. No matter how hard I tried convincing myself otherwise, deep down I knew that Luke was the trigger to my mothers behaviour towards me – and he'd called the police which ended up with Mum in a psychological ward, taken away from her family... taken away from me.

I shifted my leg and Luke got the hint, his hand falling to his side as he pursed his lips and turned back to stare out at the teenage shenanigans below.

"But you don't want that."

His words were soft yet sharp, he was sad because he knew that was the truth. At least he believed it was the truth.

"You don't know that," my voice quivered as a lump formed and I attempted to swallow it before the tears could follow.

"But I do Luna." It was more of an exasperated sigh than a blunt statement; as if he didn't truly believe in his own words but was trying so hard to. He placed his face in his open palms, shaking his head lightly as he collected his thoughts.

I didn't know what to say – because if I tried to prove him wrong it would only make things harder – so instead I stayed silent just staring at him. I could tell he was fighting an internal war with himself; stuck between wanting to scream at me for being so difficult and selfish but also wanting to just embrace me and whisper sweet nothings in my ear.