Blurry Minded, Heavy Hearted - A Detroit : Become Human Fanfiction

Chapter 5

I was thinking about doing longer chapters.. what do you guys think?

I may stop doing author notes on every chapter as well because there isn't really too much to say haha. We'll see though. I'll still occasionally say stuff.

TW - Hints to suicidal tendencies and guns. 

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 Hank drives slowly to the bar. I watch the city pass as snow falls gently onto the window of the car and onto the ground of Detroit. Winter is starting earlier this year than the last. When we reach the bar, Hank does not delay and quickly enters the car, almost forgetting to shut off the car. I get up and follow Hank into the bar, looking down. I can't drink, so I'm merely coming in just for the social interaction. I know it may annoy Hank, but I can't help but feel the need to follow him in, so I do anyway. 

When I walk in, Hank is already sitting on his normal spot in the bar with a glass of whiskey. I scan the whiskey. Jack Daniels : 40% alcohol content. A game is on the tv in the corner of the room. Hank already seems happier now that he has alcohol in his system and that the team he is rooting for seems to be winning. I sit on the bar stool next to him and watch it with him. Every time his team scores a point he cheers and takes a swig, but when the opposing team scores he just yells and slams his fist on the table. 

I want to talk to him, I want to explain earlier and open up. Maybe now that he's drunk he will listen. I open my mouth to speak, but am interrupted to Hank getting up, cheering as his team scores the final point, winning the game. Some other people sitting around the bar cheer along with him and the bar turns to a loud, cheerful environment. Once everyone settles down, the bartender turns up the music and the bar turns into a party. Everyone begins to chat and Hank with his usual grumpy demeanor is chatting with everyone in the bar. He has downed a few more drinks now. I buy him a drink and he smiles sloppily at me. Maybe he doesn't feel so badly of me now. 

It's been a few hour now that we've been here and almost everyone is gone. Hank finishes his finale drink and pulls on his jacket. When he stands up he stumbles and I have to catch him from falling down. When I catch him he pushes me away and stands up by himself, still stumbling. I force myself to let me hold him and he finally submits. Once we get outside he tries to get into his car.  

"Lieutenant, you're too drunk to drive. We have to walk back home." 

"Aaghh I'm perfectly fine to drive Connor! Get outta my way." He pushes me to the side and tries to get back in the car. I open the door when he enters and pull him out. 

"It is in your best interest to walk home Hank." I hitch his arm around my shoulder and drag him along the sidewalk. As we walk he mumbles about the game and of work. 

(TW incoming) 

We finally reach the house and I walk Hank inside, or more stumbling in. When we're in, Hank immediately walks to the bathroom to throw up. I walk into the room and over to the dresser. I open one of the drawers and take out a pair of pajamas for him. I jump at the sight of what is under the clothes. 

A gun. 

I analyze the gun. One bullet is left inside. I wonder why he has this in his room.. to protect himself? Maybe he has other bullets hidden. 

"Take the gun, Connor. You'll need to use it one day."

Why would I need to use the gun? 

"Why delay the inevitable?"

I feel my blue blood turn cold. That's right. One day I'm going to be found and I'm going to be deactivated and dead. I grab onto the gun and I hold it in my hand. It's heavier than I expected. I place my finger in the hole of the trigger. The trigger feels incredibly easily to pull. 

"Do it, Connor." 

My hand trembles. I place the gun to my temple and I feel myself begin to shake more. 

"What are you waiting for Connor? Pull the trigger."

I place my finger on the trigger. I begin to tremble more. 

No.. No I can't do this. This is stupid. 

"Hank would want you to." 

No.. No! No he wouldn't. I take away the gun from my head and put it back into the drawer. 

"You're an idiot, Connor. A big, big idiot. You will regret this." 

I know. 

I force myself out of my thoughts. I wait until my body stops trembling and look into the mirror until my LED turns blue. It takes a while for myself to calm down completely. Once I calm down I pick up the clothes I somehow dropped on the ground. Once I have the clothes I walk into the bathroom. Hank went from throwing up to drinking water straight from the sinks tap. I sit on the toilet seat cover and place the clothes onto my lap.

"Feeling better, Lieutenant?" 

"Very."

 He changes out of his work uniform and lays his head down onto the sink. I leave him alone to sober up and change into different clothes myself, deciding on a white tshirt with some random sweatpants I found on the floor next to Hanks bed. Once I'm dressed I head into the living room and sit on the couch, inviting Sumo up to cuddle me. He crawls up and lays his big, soft head and paws onto my stomach. I pet his warm fur and I feel myself relax, the most relaxed I have been all day.

I slide down the couch a little and tilt my head back. 'What a long day' I say to myself. I feel Sumo shuffle a bit and whine. I look down and he licks me. Maybe he can sense that I'm not feeling great. 

After a few minutes, Hank comes into the room and plops himself into the chair next to the couch. He puts his arms on his lap and looks down. He seems defeated, like he was in the car before we left for the bar. 

"Connor?" 

"Yes, Lieutenant?" 

I see rage build up in him again. 

"I told you, sto-" he stops himself. "You know what, never mind. I'm sorry for what I said earlier Connor. It wasn't right for me to snap at you like that. Sometimes I forget that you aren't just an android." He chuckles to himself.

I smile at him. It feels nice to hear an apology out of Hank. "It's okay, Hank. I accept your apology." 

He nods his head. His shoulders are tense still. 

"Are you okay, Hank?" 

"Those unpleasant emotions you asked about earlier... are you experiencing them, Connor?" 

I freeze. I hear another whine from Sumo and he jumps up, trying to lick my face more. What do I say? Suddenly I don't want Hank to know anything at all. He'll send me to cyberlife if I tell him more. He doesn't want me around anyway, this is his way of trying to get rid of me. 

"No." I lie. 

"So those... moments all through out today were just-" 

"Just a glitch in my system." 

God, I sound like a machine again. 

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Wowie this chapter took all day to finish. This one is about 1200 words! I'm feeling pretty proud of myself :)