Blurry Minded, Heavy Hearted - A Detroit : Become Human Fanfiction

Chapter 4

I'm really happy I've managed to keep up with this so far. Ever since I've watched and learned about Detroit Become Human, I feel a lot happier in general and much more motivated to write and do things in general. Also this has almost reached 100 reads which is really exciting! :) 

Basically, life is kinda great right now. 

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When I enter the room, Hank looks at me with an amused expression. 

"What took you so long, Connor? You look like a mess. Did you find a pretty lady to get it on with?" He snorts between his finale comment. I don't really understand it, so I decided to ignore it and ask him a question instead. 

"How long was I gone?" 

"A little over and hour. It was around 12:30 around the time you left." 

An hour? I feel my mechanical heart, or whatever it is, skip a bit and the strength in my legs weaken. I stare blankly at Hank, not knowing what to say. I feel totally frozen. How could I have been gone so long? Why are these surges keeping me away for so long? And why so frequently? I feel like I lost complete control of my mind and body. I sit down, suddenly feeling dizzy again but this time my system isn't overheating. I remain to look down. I can't seem to keep any eye contact with Hank but I can feel his gaze beaming on my neck. 

"Hey, Connor, you still with me?" He snaps his fingers in front of my face, breaking me from my gaze. I jump and I look up at him. He seems to be frustrated and I can't help bu feel like it's all my fault. I've ruined his day today, and he was so excited. I start to space out again and I can see Hanks anger raise as he's trying to speak to me. 

I grip on my chair, feeling and overwhelming urge to yell but if I do I know what they will do to me, so I just stay silent and try to block out all the fuzzy noise happening in my head. 

"This is forever, Connor. You can't run away from me." 

I grip my chair harder, making my android hand feel numb, a sensation I was not used to. I look up to face Hank and instead of being greeted with an angry expression, I see a look of concern. 

"Connor, what is going on? You've been acting strange all day." His eyes frantically glance at my temple. He's watching my LED which is probably going hay wire right now. Oh how I wish I would rip it out, just like Markus, just like Kara. But that would point out my deviancy far too much. I try to speak again, but my words are once again caught in my throat. I feel Hanks stare beam on me harder than it ever has before and I can't help but wonder if he's not the only one. 

This thought suddenly brings on a feeling of more people staring. They must be thinking 'Why the hell is this machine acting so odd?' But I am no machine, clearly. These surges occurring all day prove otherwise. 

I jump as I feel a sudden warmth on my shoulder. I look up to see Hanks eyes filled with worry and fear. He can't seem to keep his eyes off my temple, as if he was seeking an answer to his endless questions. 

"There you go again, Connor. Ruining his day. He was excited for work today, but now you're only making it more agonizing on a normal day."

I know. It's all my fault. This whole scene is all my fault. 

"Everything is your fault, Connor." 

Hank pulls on my shoulder, attempting to pull me out of my chair, but I can't budge. I feel as if my body is made of stone and that I am glued to the seat.

"God, you are so embarrassing Connor. Good luck trying to hide your deviancy now." 

Please, I just want it to stop. I don't want anyone to know. 

"Everything is watching. Can't you feel it Connor? Can you feel the Cyberlife tower looming over you? Amanda... looming over you." 

Yes! Yes, oh God, I feel it all. I feel ever agonizing stare down my neck. Please, just let this end. 

And as if by magic, it stops, and I'm sitting in the passenger seat of Hanks car. I notice he is sitting next to me, staring blankly as his steering wheel. A familiar jazzy tune is playing softly on the radio. Immediately, I feel calmer as the tune resonates through out my body, and my muscles begin to relax. Your previously erratic breathing now flows with the slow mood of the music, and everything is back to normal. This time, my breathing was erratic from the emotional surge, not the overheating. I take a mental note of this.

I look back over at Hank. His arms are crossed and he looks down at his steering wheel. He looks lost and hopeless and once again, I feel as if it is all my fault. I try to shake the thought out of my head, knowing that Hank needs a sense of comfort. I open my mouth to speak and before I can get a word out, he explodes in an angry rage. 

"What the actual fuck was that, Connor?!" He screams, now looking directly at you. 

"I-I don't know I-" I try to explain what was happening all day, but my stomach feels like it's tied in knots. I have never seen Hank this angry before.

"Do you know what I have to explain to everyone now? They all watched what was going on. This isn't funny shit Connor! You know what they will do to you! And that shit is so fucking embarrassing! Having an android who doesn't know how to control itself! Now I gotta make up some shit lie about you overheating or whatever." Some of his spit flies onto my face. The anger in his eyes makes me lose any chance of trying to explain, so I remain quiet through the rest of his rant and threats. 

Once he's done, he sits normally in his car seat, turning on the engine and driving forward. 

"Gah, I need a drink." He mumbles to himself. I can only assume he's driving to the 5th Bar. 

I turn my head to the window, party to watch Detroit pass by but mostly because I don't want Hank to look at me and my LED. It'll only piss him off more. This moment right now just proved my biggest fear. 

I'm only a burden to him. 

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Wow! This chapter took me a long time to finish. I love how it came out! I feel like I got more out today than I did in the other chapters. 

I may begin to put more events into one chapter, maybe 2 events per chapter instead of 1? I'll think about it. I might also do a one-shot book! :) We'll see though haha