Trouble In Paradise?

Chapter Thirty Seven

She nodded, turning towards the door and walking out. I heard her talking in the hallway, before the door opened. Four ashamed boys walked in, looking like they just committed the worst crime of all.

"What a surprise," I said. "Very cliché of you. Did you not get my happy message of fuck off?" I crossed my arms.

"We deserve that," Jordan muttered. I continued scowling harshly at them. "We deserve everything."

"You deserve a lot more than what I gave you," I retorted. "I didn't even get to the violence part. Shame." 

"We came to apologise," Xavier cleared his throat. "We are sorry."

"I don't want a big group apology," I said confidently. "I would rather talk to you each in private. That way I'll actually listen to what you have to say without having the urge to grab your heads and smash them all together." I would've crossed my arms if I could.

They all nodded in agreement, before looking at one another. Jordan, Blake and Xavier all began to walk out.

That left Ethan, the one who had managed to cause the most pain. My throat closed up as I remembered everything, my mind almost registering a feeling of guilt.

Wait, guilt? Why the fuck was I guilty? They had deserved everything I had said, right? I shook my head and looked down, clearing my mind, before I looked up again. I almost couldn't do it, I couldn't look him in the eyes. Betrayal hurt so bad, the hurt on my face must've been clear as his shameful look worsened.

"Why did you do it, hm?" I said, my face becoming flustered and red as a singular tear rolled down my cheek. "I-I thought that we.. you.." I bit my lip, sucking in air.

It was a shameful silence. He opened his mouth, closed it and then repeated the cycle. There was a lot of pain in the room, and I couldn't handle it without crying. I hated crying.

"One minute we were.." I said. "And then you betrayed me. You threw away everything because of something out of our control. I thought you guys were my friends. Did you.. did you even care about what you were doing to me?" I was calm, but breaking. The cracks in my voice were obvious, demonstrating a type of ache that would be sticking around for a while. When he didn't say anything, I stared him down. "No excuses?"

"I don't have any excuses," he said honestly, hanging his head to stare at his clenched fists. "I made one of the biggest mistakes. I don't deserve to make an excuse."

"You really don't," I said, laughing sadly. "I don't even know why I'm allowing you to be in this room."

"I don't either."

More silence. I didn't know what to say, and neither did he.

"You were angry," I said slowly. "I understand that. But why did you leave me for dust? Anger fades, so why did you decide to hate me?" He came closer, dropping onto his knees. I looked down at him, trying desperately to avoid crying.

"I wasn't just angry, I was heartbroken," he admitted, his face turning red. My eyes widened, and my heart froze up. Was I about to witness him cry? Surely not. No way. The thought of it caused my heart to drop. "I fucked up."

I swallowed a lump in my throat. I didn't say anything.

"I ran away like a coward," he sniffed. "I didn't want to deal with the fact that I might lose you forever. My friend, more than that."

He looked up at me then, and that singular look broke my heart. A boy who had already been losing his mother now plagued with more heartbreak. I had never seen Ethan break his tough character, but now I had as his voice broke and finally a tear slipped out of his eye. He sucked in a breath, looking back down.