suicide hotline / phan

9

They both get out of Phil's car as the sun is slowly setting. The sky is a beautiful pinkie orange just as it was on the day they met. Dan still has no idea where Phil is taking him, but he prays it's nowhere popular like a huge attraction, or a party. That would only make everything ten times worse

"Where are we?" He finally asks as they begin to walk away from the car.

"Well, it's not exactly an AMAZING ATTRACTION, but it's somewhere I love" Phil smiles warmly. "Manchester"

"Ahh" Dan says as he looks around, recognising some parts from driving through before (YES I KNOW HE USED TO LIVE IN MANCHESTER BUT LETS SAY HE DIDN'T IN THIS BOOK OKAY lmao).

"They have Starbucks" Phil smiles, and he laughs when Dan's face immediately lights up. "And a nice fountain, and the Manchester eye"

They walk around for a minute as Dan gets his bearings, beginning to feel slightly more comfortable. After a while they're in Starbucks, cradling pumpkin spice lates close to them and taking sips every now and then.

"I promise I'll pay you back" Dan says, not giving up.

"Dan- it's fine. Seriously" Phil chuckles. "You deserve to be looked after"

Although Dan strongly disagrees, he gives up.

"Thank you"

"It's okay"

"It's beautiful out there, isn't it?" Phil sighs, taking out his phone to take pictures as he always does when he sees a nice view, focusing the camera so that it shows every shade of colour.

"It is" Dan agrees, smiling. "Sunsets my favourite time of day"

Phil smiles softly to himself, loving to see a softer side of Dan that smiles at a calm view. He can't help but watch him. Although there's clear pain behind his beautiful chocolate eyes, he really is perfect. He stops snapping pictures of the sky and instead, while dan is too hypnotised from the view, takes some of him, capturing every curve of his face. He looks over the results, almost gawping at just how photogenic Dan is even when he's not even trying, just cradling his drink and getting lost in the colours of the sky.

"Th- that's why I decided to kill my-" He begins, but then stops himself. "I'm sorry"

"Why should you be sorry?" Phil says. "Go on"

Dan takes a deep breath, steadying himself.

"That's why I decided to kill myself at sunset" He says, quietly. "So that the last thing I saw would be that sky"

Phil's heart tears, Dan deserves nothing of what he has to deal with. He's the perfect person in almost every way.

"How could you do it?" Phil asks. "How do you step off the edge knowing that you can't ever take it back"

Dan shrugs.

"It's easy if you have nothing you'd want to go back for" He says, and Phil's heart breaks just a little bit more.

"Please never do it again" Phil says, trying to hold back tears. "Don't leave"

"I'll try" Dan says, not wanting to say anything he doesn't mean. "I promise that I'll try"

And somehow those few words are enough for Phil at the moment.

***

"Where are we going now?" Dan asks as they've been walking for a few minutes now, talking about everything and nothing like their favourite colours and their first words.

"Where do you want to go?" Phil asks, wanting the night to be as enjoyable as possible to prove to Dan that he can be happy without drugs and blades.

Dan scans the place with his eyes, seeing a big wheel-shaped thing that must be the Manchester eye Phil was talking about.

"There" He says, pointing, and Phil smiles.

"Okay" He says, and takes Dan's arm excitedly as they speed walk towards it. Surprisingly the sun is still setting, so Dan expects that the view will be amazing. He laughs quietly at how excitable Phil is, it's adorable.

They don't have to wait long before taking their seats on the eye, shoved quite close together but they didn't really care. Phil smiles and looks into Dans eyes as the wheel begins to grow higher. He looks out at the view, and as expected it's absolutely amazing. The sky is still a mix of soft, calming colours and there's barely any noise to distract them from it. It's perfect.

"It's beautiful" Dan says, quietly, as they reach the very top of the wheel. They haven't said a word the whole time, and it's like time has frozen still just for them for a moment.

"It is" Phil says, looking at Dan and getting lost in his eyes before attempting to bring his attention back to the view before he looses himself and his heart breaks even more.

"Hey" Dan says, bringing Phil's attention back to him. He stares into his eyes, the beautiful blue colour irresistible. Phil is perfect. His hair is placed in just the right way, his skin is soft and silky and not even that can compare to his personality. Dan is in love, and it terrifies him and excites him at the same time. It's unbearable and painful, but damb is it beautiful, and all Dan wants to do is lean forwards and kiss Phil like they're the only people left in the word.

So that's what he does.