Angels and Death

Chapter 13. DRUNKIN' DREAMS

I had never experienced anything in all my millennia quite so... so impossible! I had believed I had seen it all, but this...?

 Never.

I didn't have time to contemplate this incredible enigma because I began feeling the tremendous tugging yet again, and all the colors of blues, reds, oranges and black, I had seen-more like felt- as I flew into Samantha, were indescribable! How can this be? I was now encapsulated inside her broken little body, the only thing I knew for sure was, she was no longer inside here. I could now feel the exact pain Samantha at this exact moment-then-could feel, and I honestly, didn't know that pain such as this existed. For one whole second, I could use my head clearly and uninterrupted from the sheer white, blinding agony, I felt grateful she was no longer inside herself. So absurd, to know such an impossible thing, but it has happened, but how? And more importantly, if she was no longer inside her past self... where was she? 

Now, as I lay here as Samantha, bearing the terrible pain that felt like it that seethed into my marrow, burning inside of every particle, multiplying like accelerated cancer cells, growing, splitting, swarming, exploding... All accompanied by veins that pumped Hydrofluoric Acid furiously through every opening, burning it all away as it sped through her entire Cardiovascular system...

Unable to possibly know, or comprehend anything other than the hell I lay inside-that Samantha laid inside, that was infact worse than anything Lucifer could himself produce no doubt, I began to see something, it was coming within my tumultuously pain stained vision...

And it was yellow....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SAMANTHA.

I was back in hell, of that I'm entirely sure because I was back in the hospital room right after my horrific accident.

It's like my body knew as well, and shuddered from the very thought of reminiscing with me. Almost as if it were the fight or flight instinct, and my body was all for the flight of it. Surely this was a NIGHTMARE, and soon, so very soon I hoped, I would awake.

I could hear the screaming inside my head, I could hear screaming from afar... I became feverish with the all too familiar pleads for my death, and yet nothing came of it. No one would help me, no one was there, and not one person would put me out of my misery. 

I would never wish that upon anyone, ever...

Instantly it was no longer a nightmare but in fact a reality, and I was violently thrust back into my previous turmoil. Thrashing about, the white hot searing agony, roasting me to my soul, and not a damn thing I or anyone could or would do about it.

"DO IT!"

I had screamed and screamed incessantly, more useless, unanswered pleas of my end and nothing!

When something swam into my view, a figure of yellow, growing in size as it made its way towards me. Ahh my savior, my sweet, sweet end. Finally God has answered my prayers, and sent his Angel to carry me to heaven...

I distinctly remember using and thinking different words, so this must be a dream, a terrible, terrible dream. I had called him a Savior  yes, but I also called him a Yellow man. 

As I'm allowed to think from both my perspectives, my previous and my current, I couldn't help but feel so completely confused. I could feel pain, lots of pain, but I was able to think so clearly, so undeniably coherent, that my brain feels as though it could explode.

But I knew there was something lying at the heart of all of this...

Something severe, and of the utmost importance... 

A deep significance, that is just out of my grasp, something I'm not quite getting...

Back to the matter of watching the yellow reach closer, I began feeling Deja vu... something about him- now I wasn't sure of why I thought of it as a him, I know I had thought the exact same thought before, when it had played in real time, but something from deep down inside me, said I was right. My mind was just reeling...

He-yellow, came closer and I could see his clothing... Barely, but just, and he wore an ACDC shirt, jeans with hole's in the knee's and was covered in blood and....

All of a sudden I was sucked into my previous self entirely, all of the present me drifted away, going, going, gone...

"Do it! Please kill me! It's all right it's what I want." 

I spoke to the yellow man, through heavy pants, of my life last breathes. As he closed the rest of the distance, I could clearly see the yellow mans features. He glowed like a bon fire on a beach, yellow all around, the yellow seemed to be leaking, no pouring from his center hovering around him like a warm, ignited, protective veil. I wasn't really paying so close attention to his light, but more his features, and face. I know that face, something deep, deep down inside me recognized, but where my mind was now, was indifferent.

He was stunning. Beautiful even, his light brown hair shimmered in his glowing light, and his kind loving brown eyes studied me with worry, deep dark sadness and longing. He reached out with soft hands and caressed my head and hair softly. I was in such pain but I could feel my eyes get darker, the light not so severe, and blinding. Yellow man leaned in and grazed his lips to my forehead and whispered my name gently and confidently, like he had said my name thousands of times before. So soon was he back to his original position, staring down on me, and with one final caring look in his eyes he brought his hand to my forehead and the pain had disappeared.

Unbelievable, all the anguish I had just endured, was gone with the slightest touch, amazingly, all that was left was the now ever fading dreadful memory of that pain that had once been unbearable. I was happily stunned and about to voice my gratitude aloud, but as I said "Thank you" everything became very slow. It was a very odd sensation, and as I looked on at that familiar face, another amazing thing occurred. He stood there smiling down at me when from above a blue light appeared from the ceiling and continued to shine down and grow on him. I assumed it to be heaven, so I sat awaiting my fate, but something deep, deep down told me I knew different.

The light began growing and doubling, tripling in size filling the entire room with its beautiful, magically swollen light. The heavenly blue shimmered in and out with such dimensions I'm sure only the newly past on their way to heaven could see, and no one else. Its ethreal beauty was stunning, I felt such peace such love, I had been a fool, to think I had known such feelings before now. But the blue began colliding with yellow man, and he began floating towards the light, how could this be? Green soon filled the entire room and I began feeling panic creep slowly into me, not again.

"Please don't go! Please, please Caspian, I love you!" I yelled out in panic I couldn't do this again, I just couldn't bare it, I scream out his name once more before he disappeared, with the blinding white flash, and everything was dark and silent again.