the late bus | joshua hong

12. Missing

Y/N's POV
After our fight I'd decided to cut off all ties and communication with Joshua. I didn't need him anyways- well, that's what I was telling myself.
But I couldn't ignore the aching in my heart and the emptiness I felt when we weren't seeing each other or talking regularly like we used to.
It just didn't feel right.

Catching the bus to school the next day I felt nothing but dread.
I was relieved that when I got on the bus and saw no sign of Joshua, but I still dreaded seeing him at school later.
Maybe I could just hide in a hole for the rest of my life and never come out.

Walking into my class, I kept my head down, trying to avoid any interaction with Joshua whatsoever.
But when I stole a quick glance to his desk whilst sitting down, I was surprised to see his desk empty.
He wasn't here?
I sighed, though I don't know if it was from relief or disappointment.

Subconsciously, I'd been waiting for him to walk through the classroom door all day. But it never happened.
And it was concerning me.
I know I was probably just overreacting, but all of this didn't feel right.
From the moment I'd walked away from him yesterday after our argument, to now, with me still waiting for him to show up.
It was just unusual for him to not show up today.
But I guess he had a good excuse. He probably didn't want to face me today due to the awkwardness and guilt, and I couldn't blame him, because I don't think I would've been able to face him either without breaking down or something.

At lunch I went to find Mingyu and Xuimin, and see if they knew anything of Joshua's absence.
But when I asked, they were just as clueless as I was.
Strange.
Surely Joshua would atleast tell Mingyu, his best friend- whom of which he'd grown up with- why he hadn't shown up today.

A hand on my shoulder brought me out of my thoughts.
"Chill, your over thinking this way too much." Mingyu's calm voice filled the air.
I turned to him, realising he was right.
"Yeah, I mean he probably just felt like shit after how he treated you yesterday, and couldn't be assed to see you today." Xuimin added on.
I nodded slowly, agreeing, because I was getting exhausted with all these thoughts about Joshua building up in my head.
I decided I would leave it at that and not care for him or his whereabouts any longer. Because that's what he'd do to me, right?

For the next week Joshua still didn't bother to show up, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't atleast a little concerned.
So I decided to try and find out what was happening.

Hesitantly, I clicked 'dial' on my phone, and raised it to my ear, praying Joshua would pick up, because wherever he was, he most likely had his phone on him.
But to my disappointment, the only voice on the other end I was greeted with was the one of his voicemail.

Frustrated, I slammed my phone on my desk.
He hadn't replied to any of my messages- heck, he hadn't even opened them- and this was the 4th or 5th time I had tried to reach to him by calling him, but it had just gone straight to voicemail.
Now I definitely knew something was up.
He wouldn't just disappear, would he?
Desperately going to my last result, I dialled Xuimin's and Mingyu's number, grateful they actually picked up, and told them to meet me at Joshua's house.

Walking to his house I felt the anxiety building up inside me.
What if he'd been home all this time?
What if I was just overreacting?
What if he didn't want to see any of us and would get angry again?
I shook away these thoughts realising I'd reached the gates of his front garden, though his house looked unoccupied.

Shortly after Mingyu came along with Xuimin.
"So why did you wanna meet here?" Mingyu asked.
"Because. There is something fishy going on and I know it. Joshua wouldn't suddenly just disappear, the same reason why he wouldn't cut off all contact, heck even the same reason why he wouldn't get angry with me in the first place over something stupid like a detention." I explained, and both seemed to agree.
I went on, "I know I've only known Joshua since the start of this year, whereas Mingyu, you've known him since you were young, and Xuimin you've only known him recently, but I can tell from his recent behaviour that this isn't like him. I know the kind, cheerful, cute Joshua, who is more than happy to get told off and take the blame, but this guy he's been acting like is nothing like that, and I feel like there's much more to it. His disappearance only adds to this."
They both nodded, the atmosphere had become more serious.
"So do you think he's been taken or he's hiding?" Questioned Xuimin.
"Hiding isn't really something he would do, he's not the type of guy to run away from his problems." Mingyu said.
Xuimin gasped, "Maybe he's been kidnapped or beaten up somewhere and is helpless!" His eyes practically popping out of their sockets.

I felt my stomach drop.
He could be hurt all this time or in need of help and we're still standing in front of his house, talking.
"Well come on then! We need to find him, he could be anywhere for all we know." I practically yelled, due to the panic and fear rising up inside me.

Frantically running from street to street, park to park, even checking the shops, me, Mingyu and Xiumin searches everywhere, with still no sign.
I don't know if it was from the constant running and yelling Joshua's name for the last 2 and a half hours, or the panic growing in my chest, but my heart seemed to be beating out of control.
How could I not have seen this?
Why had I not noticed sooner that something was wrong?
I couldn't even bear to stand the thought of losing Joshua- yet just the other day I was trying to cut him from my life completely.

We all took a rest in the coffee shop we visit so often- we're even close with the owner because we're regulars.
We all sighed as we sat down.
But so many thoughts were going through my head right now.
"Cheer up Y/N, we'll find him." Mingyu tried to comfort me.
"Yeah," Xuimin added, "I'm sure wherever he is, he's perfectly safe."
I stared down at my lap, my eyes were beginning to sting and small tears prickled them.
"I know, it's just... what if we never see him again? What if he never comes back because we're too late? We left off on a pretty bad argument, and I don't think I could live with the guilt for the rest of my life. I never even got to apologise, or to tell him my true feelings." I whispered the last part, as if talking to myself, and before I knew it, the tears were streaming down my cheeks. Whilst all Mingyu and Xuimin could do was try to comfort me.

Sara's POV
I watched from outside the cafe.
It seems everything is going smoothly, what with Y/N out the picture Joshua will surely be free, all to me.
I know I should feel pity, but he hurt me in the past, so it's only fair I tear apart his relationship before it even started, then I'll pick up the pieces for him and heal him.
And if that doesn't go to plan, well, of course it will who am I kidding.

Joshua's POV
The last week had been torture. I'd had no contact with the outside work whatsoever, just so that Y/N would be safe.
I groaned whilst lying on my bed in my room.

I had been staying with my grandma for the past week. She only lived a few cities from where I live now. And I guess my parents were ok with it because I 'claimed' I'd stay on top of my school work, but they can't really monitor that because the majority of the time they're on business trips. They also live abroad along with my older sister, who also works in their company.
That leaves me to a house for myself, which I have been doing for the past 3 years.
You could say I got lonely, but I had Mingyu and the boys the keeps me company.
And now Y/N.
Well, used to be Y/N.
I made her hate me on purpose to make this whole disappearing thing easier, but it seems everyday to get harder.
My heart won't stop aching and I can't stop thinking about her, worrying about her, whether Sara kept her word or whether she's already hurt her. But I know I can't do anything otherwise we'll both be hurt.
That doesn't mean I'm running away though,
I just have to play my cards right,
Then in the end I'll win.